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Genrikh. Ne smeyu.\\
~~Povar. Net, voz{p1}mite! V-vy znatok. {E1}to takaya
redkost{p1}.\\
~~Genrikh (beret, delaet vid, chto otkusyvaet. Bystro
pryachet v pirozhok zapisku). Akh! Ya potryasen! Masterov,
ravnykh vam, net v mire.\\
~~Povar. No masterostvo moe, uvy, pogibnet vmeste so
mno\u{i}.\\
~~Genrikh (delaya vid, chto zhuet). No pochemu?\\
~~Povar. Kniga moya "Vot kak nuzhno gotovit{p1}, gospoda"
gogibla.\\
~~Genrikh. Kak! Kogda?\\
~~Povar (Shepotom). Kogda prishla moda szhigat{p1} knigi
na ploshchadyakh. V pervye tri dnya sozhgli vse de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no
opasnye knigi. A moda ne proshla. Togda nachali zhech{p1} ostal{p1}e
knigi bez razbora. Teper{p1} knig vovse net. Zhgut solomu.\\
~~Genrikh (svistyashchim shepotom). No ved{p1} {e1}to uzhasno!
Da?\\
~~Povar (oglyadyvayas{p1}, svistyashchim shepotom). Tol{p1}ko
vam skazhu. Da. Uzhasno!\\
(Vo vremya {e1}togo korotkogo dialoga Genrikh uspel polozhit{p1} pirozhok
s zapisko\u{i} obratno na samy\u{i} verkh.)\\
~~Kamerdiner. Tishe! Kazhet$\!\,$sya, korol{p1} chikhnul.\\
(Vse prislushivayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Genrikh (Khristianu, tikho). Ya polozhil zapisku v pirozhok,
Khristian.\\
~~Khristian. Ladno, Genrikh. Ne volnu\u{i}sya.\\
~~Genrikh. Ya boyus{p1}, chto zapiska promaslit$\!\,$sya.\\
~~Khristian. Genrikh, u\u{i}mis{p1}! Napishem vtoruyu.\\
(Pervy\u{i} ministr vylezaet iz-za zanavesa.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Gosudar{p1} otkryl odin glaz. Gotov{p1}s{p1}!
Zovi kamergerov! Gde fre\u{i}liny? {E1}\u{i}, trubachi!\\
(Vkhodyat trubachi, kamergery, pridvornye. Bystro vystraivayut$\!\,$sya
veerom po obe storony zanavesa v opochival{p1}nyu.
Kamerdiner, ne svodya glaz s pervogo ministra, derzhit
kisti zanavesa.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (otchayannym shepotom). Vse gotovo?
Pravdu govori.\\
~~Kamerdiner. Tak tochno!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (otchayanno). Valya\u{i}, v moyu golovu!\\
(Kamerdiner tyanet za shnury. Raspakhivaet$\!\,$sya zanaves.
Za nim nichego ne vidno, krome celo\u{i} gory skryvayushchikhsya
za svodami arki perin.)\\
~~Khristian. Gde zhe korol{p1}?\\
~~Povar. On spit na sta soroka vos{p1}mi perinakh---do
togo on blagoroden. Ego ne vidno. On pod samym
potolkom.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (zaglyadyvaya). Tishe. Gotov{p1}tes{p1}!
On vorochaet$\!\,$sya. On pochesal brov{p1}. Morshchit$\!\,$sya. Sel.
Trubi!\\
(Trubachi trubyat. Vse krichat trizhdy: "Ura korol{p1}!
Ura korol{p1}! Ura korol{p1}!" Tishina. Posle pauzy iz-pod
potolka razdaet$\!\,$sya kaprizny\u{i} golos: "Akh! Akh! Nu chto
{e1}to? Nu zachem {e1}to? Zachem vy menya razbudili?
Ya videl vo sne nimfu. Svinstvo kakoe?")\\
~~Kamerdiner. Osmelyus{p1} napomnit{p1} vashemu velichestvu,
chto segodnya priezzhaet princessa, nevesta vashego
velichestva.\\
~~Korol{p1} (sverkhu, kaprizno). Akh, nu chto {e1}to,
izdevatel{p1}stvo kakoe-to. Gde mo\u{i} kinzhal? Ya se\u{i}chas tebya
zarezhu, nekhoroshi\u{i} ty chelovek, i vse. Nu gde on? Nu
skol{p1}ko raz ya tebe govoril---kladi kinzhal pryamo pod
podushku.\\
~~Kamerdiner. No uzhe polovina odinnadcatogo, vashe
velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Chto? I ty menya ne razbudil! Vot tebe za
{e1}to, osel!\\
(Sverkhu letit kinzhal. Vonzaet$\!\,$sya u samykh nog kamerdinera.
Pauza.)\\
Nu! Chego zhe ty ne oresh{p1}? Razve ya tebya ne ranil?\\
~~Kamerdiner. Nikak net, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. No, mozhet byt{p1}, ya tebya ubil?\\
~~Kamerdiner. Nikak net, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. I ne ubil? Svinstvo kakoe! Ya neschastny\u{i}!
Ya poteryal vsyakuyu metkost{p1}. Nu chto {e1}to, nu chto takoe
v samom dele! Oto\u{i}di! Vidish{p1}, ya vstayu!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Gotov{p1}sya! Gosudar{p1} vo ves{p1} rost
vstal na posteli! On delaet shag vpered! Otkryvaet
zont. Trubi!\\
(Trubyat truby. Iz-pod svoda pokazyvaet$\!\,$sya korol{p1}. On
opuskaet$\!\,$sya na otkrytom zonte, kak na parashute. Pridvornye
krichat "ura". Korol{p1}, dostignuv pola, otbrasyvaet
zont, kotory\u{i} srazu podkhvatyvaet kamerdiner.
Korol{p1} v roskoshnom khalate i v korone, ukreplenno\u{i} na
golove lento\u{i}. Lenta pyshnym bantom zavyazana pod podborodkom.
Korolyu let pyat{p1}desyat. On polny\u{i}, zdorovy\u{i}.
On ni na kogo ne glyadit, khotya priemnaya polna pridvornykh.
On derzhit$\!\,$sya tak, kak budto on odin v komnate.)\\
~~Korol{p1} (kamerdineru). Nu chto takoe! Nu chto {e1}to!
Nu zachem ty molchish{p1}? Vidit, chto gosudar{p1} ne v dukhe,
i nechego ne mozhet pridumat{p1}. Podnimi kinzhal. (Nekotoroe
vremya zadumchivo razglyadyvaet podanny\u{i} kamerdinerom
kinzhal, zatem kladet ego v karman khalata.) Lentya\u{i}!
Ty ne stoish{p1} dazhe togo, chtoby umeret{p1} ot blagorodno\u{i}
ruki. Ya tebe dal vchera na cha\u{i} zoloto\u{i}?\\
~~Kamerdiner. Tak tochno, vashe velichestvo!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Dava\u{i} ego obratno. Ya tobo\u{i} nedovolen.
(Otbiraet u kamerdinera den{p1}gi.) Protivno dazhe ...
(Khodit vzad i vpered, zadevaya zastyvshikh ot blagogoveniya
pridvornykh polami svoego khalata.) Videl vo sne miluyu,
blagorodnuyu nimfu, neobycha\u{i}no khoroshe\u{i} porody i chisto\u{i}
krovi. My s ne\u{i} snachala razbili sosed\u{i}, a zatem byli schastlivy.
Prosypayus{p1}---peredo mno\u{i} {e1}tot otvratitel{p1}ny\u{i}
lake\u{i}! Kak ya skazal nimfe? Kudesnica! Charovnica!
Vlyublenny\u{i} v vas ne mozhet ne lyubit{p1} vas! (Ubezhdenno.)
Khorosho skazal. (Kaprizno.) Nu chto {e1}to takoe? Nu chto
{e1}to? Nu? Zachem ya prosnulsya? {E1}\u{i}, ty! Zachem?\\
~~Kamerdiner. Chtoby nadet{p1} novoe s igolochki plat{p1}e,
vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Churban! Ne mogu zhe ya odevat{p1}sya, kogda ya
ne v dukhe. Razveseli menya snachala. Zovi shuta, shuta
skore\u{i}!\\
~~Kamerdiner. Shuta ego velichestva!\\
(Ot nepodvizhno stoyashchikh pridvornykh otdelyaet$\!\,$sya shut.
{E1}to solidny\u{i} chelovek v pensne. On, podprygivaya, priblizhaet$\!\,$sya
k korolyu.)\\
~~Korol{p1} (s oficianl{p1}no\u{i} bodrost{p1}yu i likhost{p1}yu.
Gromko). Zdravstvu\u{i}, shut!\\
~~Shut~(tak zhe). Zdravstvu\u{i}te, vashe velichestvo!\\
~~Korol{p1} (opuskayas{p1} v kreslo). Razveseli menya. Da
poskoree. (Kaprizno i zhalobno.) Mne pora odevat{p1}sya,
a ya vse gnevayus{p1} da gnevayus{p1}. Nu! Nachina\u{i}!\\
~~Shut~(solidno). Vot, vashe velichestvo, ochen{p1} smeshnaya
istoriya. Odin kupec ...\\
~~Korol{p1} (pridirchivo). Kak familiya?\\
~~Shut. Petersen. Odin kupec, po familii Petersen,
vyshel iz lavki, da kak spotknet$\!\,$sya---i lyap nosom ob mostovuyu!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kha---kha---kha!\\
~~Shut. A tut shel malyar s krasko\u{i}, spotknulsya ob kupca
i oblil krasko\u{i} prokhodivshuyu mimo starushku.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Pravda? Kha---kha---kha!\\
~~Shut. A starushka ispugalas{p1} i nastupila sobake na
khvost.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kha---kha---kha! Fu ty, bozhe mo\u{i}! Akh---akh---akh!
(Vytiraya slezy.) Na khvost?\\
~~Shut. Na khvost, vashe velichestvo. A sobaka ukusila
tolstyaka.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Okh---okh---okh! Kha---kha---kha! O\u{i}, dovol{p1}no! ... \\
~~Shut. A tolstyak ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. Dovol{p1}no, dovol{p1}no! Ne mogu bol{p1}she,
lopnu. Stupa\u{i}, ya razveselilsya. Nachnem odevat{p1}sya.
(Razvyazyvaet bant pod podborodkom.) Voz{p1}mi moyu nochnuyu koronu.
Dava\u{i} utrennyuyu. Tak! Zovi pervogo ministra.\\
~~Kamerdiner. Ego prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo gospodin pervy\u{i}
ministr k ego velichestvu!\\
(Pervy\u{i} ministr podbegaet k korolyu.)\\
~~Korol{p1} (likho). Zdravstvu\u{i}te, pervy\u{i} ministr!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (tak zhe). Zdravstvu\u{i}te, vashe velichestvo!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Chto skazhesh{p1}, starik? ... Kha-kha-kha! Nu i
shut u menya! Starushku za khvost! Kha-kha-kha! Chto mne
nravit$\!\,$sya v nem---{e1}to chisty\u{i} yumor. Bezo vzyakikh tam namekov,
shpilek ... Kupec tolstyaka ukusil! Kha-kha-kha! Nu
chto novogo, starik? A?\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vashe velichestvo! Vy znaete, chto
ya starik chestny\u{i}, starik pryamo\u{i}. Ya pryamo govoryu pravdu v
glaza, dazhe esli ona nepriyatna. Ya ved{p1} stoyal
tut vse vremya, videl, kak vy, otkrovenno govorya,
prosypaetes{p1}, slyshal, kak vy, grubo govorya, smeetes{p1}, i
tak dalee. Pozvol{p1}te vam skazat{p1} pryamo, vashe velichestvo ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. Govori, govori. Ty zanaesh{p1}, chto ya na tebya
nikogda ne serzhus{p1}.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Pozvol{p1}te mne skazat{p1} vam pryamo,
grubo, po-starikovski: vy veliki\u{i} chelovek, gosudar{p1}!\\
~~Korol{p1} (on ochen{p1} dovolen). Nu-nu. Zachem, zachem.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Net, vashe velichestvo, net. Mne
sebya ne pereborot{p1}. Ya eshche raz povtoryu---prostite mne
moyu raznuzdannost{p1}---vy velikan! Svetilo!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Akh kako\u{i} ty! Akh, akh!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. By, vashe velichestvo, prikazali,
chtoby pridvorny\u{i} ucheny\u{i} sostavil, izvinite, rodoslovnuyu
princessy. Chtoby on razvedal o ee predkakh, grubo
govorya, to da se. Prostite menya, vashe velichestvo,
za pryamotu---{e1}to byla udivitel{p1}naya mysl{p1}.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Nu vot eshche! Nu chego tam!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Pridvorny\u{i} ucheny\u{i}, govorya bez raznykh
tam shtuchek i ukrasheni\u{i}, prishel. Zvat{p1}? Okh, korol{p1}!
(Grozit pal{p1}cem.) Okh, umnica!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Podi syuda, pravdiby\u{i} starik. (Rastroganno.)
Da\u{i} ya tebya poceluyu. I nikogda ne bo\u{i}sya govorit{p1} mne
pravdu v glaza. Ya ne tako\u{i}, kak drugie koroli.
Ya lyublyu pravdu, dazhe kogda ona nepriyatna. Prishel pridvorny\u{i}
ucheny\u{i}? Nichego! Pozhalu\u{i}sta! Zovi ego syuda.
Ya budu odevat{p1}sya i pit{p1} shokolad, a on pust{p1} govorit.
Komandu\u{i} k odevaniyu s shokoladom, chestny\u{i} starik.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Slushayu-s! (Likho.) Lakei!
(Lakei pod zvuki trub vnosyat shirmu. Korol{p1} skryvaet$\!\,$sya
za ne\u{i}, tak chto tol{p1}ko ego golova.)\\
Portnye!\\
(Zvuki trub eshche torzhestvennee. Portnye, delaya na khodu
poslednie stezhki, ostanavlivayut$\!\,$sya u shirmy.)\\
Povar!\\
(Povar pod zvuki trub marshiruet k shirme. Peredaet chashku
s shokoladom kamerdineru. Pyatit$\!\,$sya nazad. Skryvaet$\!\,$sya
za spinami pridvornykh.)\\
Ucheny\u{i}!\\
(Pridvorny\u{i} ucheny\u{i} s ogromno\u{i} knigo\u{i} v rukakh
stanovit$\!\,$sya pered shirmo\u{i}.)\\
Smirno! (Oglyadyvaet$\!\,$sya.)\\
(Vse zamerli.)\\
(Komanduet.) Prigotovilis{p1}. Nachali!\\
(Zvuki trub zamenyayut$\!\,$sya legko\u{i}, ritmichno\u{i} muzyko\u{i}.
Pokhozhe, chto igraet muzykal{p1}ny\u{i} yashchik. Zamershie pered
shirmo\u{i} portnye skryvayut$\!\,$sya za neyu. Kamerdiner poit
s lozhechki korolya shokoladom.)\\
~~Korol{p1} (sdelav neskol{p1}ko glotkov, krichit likho). Zdravstvu\u{i}te,
pridvorny\u{i} ucheny\u{i}!\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Govorite! Vprochem, net, posto\u{i}te! Pervy\u{i}
ministr! Pust{p1} pridvornye slushayut tozhe.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Gospoda pridvornye! Ego velichestvo
zametil, chto vy zdes{p1}.\\
~~Pridvornye. Ura korol{p1}! Ura korol{p1}! Ura korol{p1}!\\
~~Korol{p1}. I devushki zdes{p1}! Fre\u{i}liny. Ku-ku! (Pryachet$\!\,$sya
za shirmo\u{i}.)\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina (pozhilaya {e1}nergichnaya zhenshchina, basom). Ku-ku,
vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1} (vylezaet). Kha-kha-kha! (Likho.) Zdravstvu\u{i}te,
shalun{p1}ya!\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1} (igrivo). Chto vy videli vo sne, rezvun{p1}ya?\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Vas, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Menya? Molodec!\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Rada starat{p1}sya, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. A vy, devushki, chto videli vo sne?\\
~~Ostal{p1}nye fre\u{i}liny. Vas, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Molodec!\\
~~Ostal{p1}nye fre\u{i}liny. Rad starat{p1}sya, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Prekrasno. Pervaya fre\u{i}lina! Militarizaciya
krasotok vam udalas{p1}. Oni ochen{p1} zalikhvat$\!\,$ski otvechayut
segodnya. Iz{p2}yavlyayu vam svoe blagovolenie. V
kakom vy chine?\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Polkovnika, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Proizvozhu vas v generaly.\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Pokorno blagodaryu, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Vy zasluzhili {e1}to. Vot uzhe tridcast{p1} let,
kak vy u menya pervaya krasavica. Kazhduyu noch{p1} vy menya,
tol{p1}ko menya vidite vo sne. Vy moya ptichka, general!\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Rada starat{p1}sya, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1} (raznezhenno). Akh vy, konfetki. Ne ukhodite
daleko, moi milochki. A to professor menya zasushit.
Nu, pridvorny\u{i} ucheny\u{i}, valya\u{i}te!\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Vashe velichestvo. Ya s pomoshch{p1}yu ad{p2}yunkta
Bronkgauza i privat-docenta Efrona sostavil sovershenno
tochno rodoslovnuyu nashe\u{i} vysokorozhdenno\u{i} gost{p1}i.\\
~~Korol{p1} (fre\u{i}linam). Ku-ku! Khi-khi-khi.\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Snachala o ee gerbe. Gerbom, vashe velichestvo,
nazyvaet$\!\,$sya nasledstvenno peredavaemoe simvolicheskoe
izobrazhenie, da, izobrazhenie, sostavlennoe na
osnovanii izvestnykh pravil, da, pravil.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ya sam znayu, chto takoe gerb, professor.\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. S nezapamyatnykh vremen voshli v upotreblenie
simvolicheskie znaki, da, znaki, kotorye vyrezalis{p1} na
perstnyakh.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Tyu-tyu!\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. I risovalis{p1} na oruzhii, znamenakh i prochem,
da, i prochem.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Tsyp-tsyp! Ptichki!\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Znaki {e1}ti yavilis{p1} rezul{p1}tatom ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. Dovol{p1}no o znakakh, k delu ... Ku-ku! ...\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. ... Da, rezul{p1}tatom zhelaniya vydelit{p1} sebya
iz massy, da, vydelit{p1}. Pridat{p1} sebe rezkoe otlichie,
zametnoe inogda dazhe v razgare bitvy. Vot. Bitvy.\\
(Korol{p1} vykhodit iz-za shirmy. Odet blistatel{p1}no.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. K delu, professor!\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Gerby ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. K delu, govoryat! Koroche!\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Eshche so vremen krestovy\u{i} pokhodov ...\\
~~Korol{p1} (zamakhivaet$\!\,$sya na nego kinzhalom). Ub{p1}yu kak
sabaku. Govori koroche!\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. V takom sluchae, vashe velichestvo, ya nachnu
blazonirovat{p1}.\\
~~Korol{p1}. A? Chego ty nachnaesh{p1}?\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Blazonirovat{p1}!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ya zapreshchayu! {E1}to chto eshche za gadost{p1}! Chto
znachit {e1}to slovo?\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. No blazonirovat{p1}, vashe velichestvo, ---{e1}to
znachit opisyvat{p1} gerb!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Tak i govorite!\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Ya blazoniruyu. Gerb princessy. V zolotom,
useyannom chervlennymi serdcami shchite tri koronovannye
lazorevye kuropatki, obremenennye leopardom.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kak, kak? Obremenennye?\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Da, vashe velichestvo ... Vokrug ka\u{i}ma iz
cvetov korolevstva.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Nu ladno ... Ne nravit$\!\,$sya mne {e1}to. Nu da
uzh pust{p1}! Govorite rodoslovnuyu, no koroche.\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Slushayu, vashe velichestvo! Kogda Adam ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kako\u{i} uzhas! Princessa evre\u{i}ka?\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Chto vy, vashe velichestvo!\\
~~Korol{p1}. No ved{p1} Adam byl evre\u{i}?\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. {E1}to sporny\u{i} vopros, vashe velichestvo. U
menya est{p1} svedeniya, chto on byl karaim.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Nu to-to! Mne glavnoe, chtoby princessa
byla chisto\u{i} krovi. {E1}to se\u{i}chas ochen{p1} modno, a ya frant.
Ya frant, ptichki?\\
~~Fre\u{i}liny. Tak tochno, vashe velichestvo,
vsegda byli na urovne samykh sovremennykh ide\u{i}. Da,
samykh.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ne pravda li? Odni moi bryuki chego stoyat!
Prodolzha\u{i}te, professor.\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Adam ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ostavim {e1}tot shchekotlivy\u{i} vopros i pere\u{i}dem
k bolee pozdnii vremenam.\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Faraon Isametikh ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. I ego ostavim. Ochen{p1} nekrasivoe imya.
Dal{p1}she ...\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Togda razreshite, vashe velichestvo, pere\u{i}ti
neposredstvenno k dinastii ee vysochestva! Osnovatel{p1} dinastii---Georg 1,
prozvanny\u{i} za svoi podvigi Velikim.
Da, prozvanny\u{i}.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ochen{p1} khorosho.\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Emu unasledoval syn Georg 2, prozvanny\u{i}
za svoi podvigi Obyknovennym. Da, Obyknovennym.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ya ochen{p1} speshu. Vy prosto perechislya\u{i}te
predkov. Ya po\u{i}mu, za chto imenno oni poluchali svoi
prozvishcha. A inache ya vas zarezhu.\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Slushayu. Dalee idut: Vil{p1}gel{p1}m 1 Vesely\u{i},
Genrikh 1 Korotki\u{i}, Georg 3 Raspushchenny\u{i}, Georg 4 Khoroshen{p1}ki\u{i},
Genrikh 2 Chert poberi.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Za chto ego tak prozvali?\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Za ego podvigi, vashe velichestvo. Dalee
idet Filipp 1 Nenormal{p1}ny\u{i}, Gorg 5 Poteshny\u{i}, Georg 6
Otricatel{p1}ny\u{i}, Georg 7 Boso\u{i}, Georg 8 Malokrovny\u{i},
Georg 9 Gruby\u{i}, Georg 10 Tonkonogi\u{i}, Georg 11 Khrabry\u{i},
Georg 12 Antipatichny\u{i}, Georg 13 Nagly\u{i}, Georg 14 Interesny\u{i}
i nakonec nyne carstvuyushchi\u{i} otec princessy
Georg 15, prozvanny\u{i} za svoi podvigi Borodatym. Da,
prozvanny\u{i}.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ochen{p1} bogataya i rasnoobraznaya kollekciya
predkov.\\
~~Ucheny\u{i}. Da, vashe velichestvo. Princessa imeet
vosemnadcat{p1} predkov, ne schitaya gerbov materinsko\u{i} linii ...
Da, imeet.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Vpolne dostatochno ... Stupa\u{i}te! (Smotrit na
chasy.) Akh, kak pozdno! Pozovite skoree pridvornogo po{e1}ta.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Po{e1}t k gosudaryu. Begom!\\
(Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t podvegaet k korolyu.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t.\\
~~Po{e1}t. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Prigotovili privet$\!\,$stvennuyu rech{p1}?\\
~~Po{e1}t. Da, vashe velichestvo. Moe vdokhnovenie ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. A stikhi na priezd princessy?\\
~~Po{e1}t. Moya muza pomogla mne izyskat{p1} pyat{p1}sot vosem{p1} par
velikolepne\u{i}shikh rifm, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Chto zhe, vy odni rifmy budete chitat{p1}? A
Stikhi gde?\\
~~Po{e1}t. Vashe velichestvo! Moya muza edva uspela konchit{p1} stikhi
na vashu razluku s pravoflangovo\u{i} fre\u{i}lino\u{i}.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Vasha muza vechno ot$\!\,$staet ot sobyti\u{i}. Vy s
ne\u{i} tol{p1}ko i umeete chto prosit{p1} to dachu, to domik,
to korovu. Chert znaet chto! Zachem, naprimer, po{e1}tu
korova? A kak pisat{p1}, tak opozdal, ne uspel ...
Vse vy takie!\\
~~Po{e1}t. Zato moya predannost{p1} vashemu velichestvu ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. Mne nuzhna ne predannost{p1}, a stikhi!\\
~~Po{e1}t. No zato rech{p1} gotova, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Rech{p1} ... Na {e1}to vy vse mastera! Nu dava\u{i}te
khot{p1} rech{p1}.\\
~~Po{e1}t. {E1}to dazhe ne rech{p1}, a razgovor. Vashe velichestvo
govorit, a princessa otvechaet. Kopiya otvetov poslana
navstrechu princesse special{p1}nym narochnym. Razreshite
oglasit{p1}?\\
~~Korol{p1}. Mozhete.\\
~~Po{e1}t. Vashe velichestvo govorit: "Princessa! Ya schastliv,
chto vy kak solnce vzoshli na mo\u{i} tron. Svet
vashe\u{i} krasoty osvetil vse vokrug". Na {e1}to princessa
otvechaet: "Solnce---{e1}to vy, vashe velichestvo. Blesk
vashikh podvigov zatmil vsekh vashikh sopernikov". Vy na {e1}to: "Ya
schastliv, chto vy ocenili menya po dostoinstvu!"
Princessa na {e1}to: "Vashi dostoinstva---zalog nashego budushchego
schast{p1}ya!" Vy otvechaete: "Vy tak khorosho menya ponyali,
chto ya mogu skazat{p1} tol{p1}ko odno: vy tak zhe umny,
kak i prekrasny". Princessa na {e1}to: "Ya schastliva, chto
nravlyus{p1} vashemu velichestvu." Vy na {e1}to: "Ya chuvstvuyu,
chto my lyubim drug druga, princessa, pozvol{p1}te vas
pocelovat{p1}".\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ochen{p1} khorosho!\\
~~Po{e1}t. Princessa: "Ya polna smushcheniya ... no ... "
Tut gremyat pushki, vo\u{i}ska krichat "ura"---i vy celuete
princessu.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Tseluyu? Kha-kha! {E1}to nichego! V guby?\\
~~Po{e1}t. Tak tochno, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. {E1}to ostroumno. Stupa\u{i}te. Kha-kha! Starik,
{e1}to priyatno! Da! Nu-nu! {E1}kh! (Likho obnimaet za taliyu
starshuyu fre\u{i}linu.) Kto eshche zhdet priema? A? Govori,
otkrovenny\u{i} starik.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vashe velichestvo, ya ne skroyu, chto
priema zhdut eshche tkachi.\\
~~Korol{p1}. A! Chto zhe ikh ne puskayut? Skoree, gonite
ikh begom ko mne.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Tkachi, k korolyu---galopom!\\
(Genrikh i Khristian likho, vpripryzhku vyletayut na seredinu sceny.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kakie starye---znachit, opytnye. Kakie
bo\u{i}kie---navernoe, rabotyashchie. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, tkachi.\\
~~Genrikh i Khristian. Zdraviya zhelaem, vashe velichestvo!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Chto skazhete? A? Chego vy molchite?\\
(Khristian vzdykhaet so stonom.)\\
Chto ty govorish{p1}?\\
(Genrikh vzdykhaet so stonom.)\\
Kak?\\
~~Khristian. Bednyaga korol{p1}! U-u!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Chego vy menya pugaete, duraki? V chem delo?
Pochemu ya bednyaga?\\
~~Khristian. Tako\u{i} veliki\u{i} korol{p1}---i tak odet!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kak ya odet? A?\\
~~Genrikh. Obyknovenno, vashe velichestvo!\\
~~Khristian. Kak vse!\\
~~Genrikh. Kak sosednie koroli!\\
~~Khristian. Okh, vashe velichestvo, okh!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Akh, chto {e1}to! Nu chto oni govoryat? Da kak
zhe {e1}to mozhno! Otoprite shkaf! Da\u{i}te plashch nomer chetyre
tysyachi devyaty\u{i} ot kruzhevnogo kostyuma. Smotrite, duraki.
Chisty\u{i} fa\u{i}. Po krayam pleteny\u{i} gipyur.
Sverkhu shitye
alansonskie kruzheva. A ponizu valans{p1}en. {E1}to k
moemu kruzhevonomu vykhodnomu kostyumu. A vy govorite---kak
vse! Da\u{i}te sapogi! Smotrite, i sapogi obshity kruzhevami
brabant$\!\,$skimi. Vy videli chto-nibud{p1} podobnoe?\\
~~Genrikh. Videli!\\
~~Khristian. Skol{p1}ko raz!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Nu {e1}to chert znaet chto! Da\u{i}te togda mo\u{i}
obedenny\u{i} naryad. Da ne tot, osel! Nomer vosem{p1} tysyach
chetyresta devyanosto vosem{p1}. Glyadite, vy! {E1}to chto?\\
~~Genrikh. Shtany.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Iz chego?\\
~~Khristian. Chego tam sprashivat{p1}? Iz gra-de-naplya.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Akh ty bessobestny\u{i}! Chto zhe, po-tvoemu,
gra-de-napl{p1}---{e1}to pustyaki? A vorotnik---pu-de-sua.
A plashch---tyurkuaz, na nem ripsovye prodol{p1}nye poloski.
Da ty voskhishcha\u{i}sya! P{ochemu ty otvorachivaesh{p1}sya?\\
~~Genrikh. Vidali my {e1}to.\\
~~Korol{p1}. I chulki dra-de-sua?\\
~~Khristian. I {e1}to vidali.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Da ty, durak, poshchupa\u{i}!\\
~~Genrikh. Da zachem ... Ya znayu.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Znaesh{p1}? Dava\u{i}te syuda pantalony dlya svadebnogo
bala! {E1}to chto?\\
~~Khristian. Koverkot.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Pravil{p1}no, no kako\u{i}? Gde eshche na svete
est{p1} podobny\u{i}? A kamzol sheviot s vorotnikom boston!
A plashch? Triko. Vidal, durak?\\
~~Genrikh. {E1}to, vashe velichestvo, de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no kazhdy\u{i}
durak vidal.\\
~~Khristian. A my mozhem sdelat{p1} takukyu tkan{p1} ...
Ogo! Kotoruyu tol{p1}ko umny\u{i} i uvidit. My vam sdelaem
nebyvaly\u{i} svadebny\u{i} naryad, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Da! Tak vse govoryat! A rekomendacii est{p1}?\\
~~Khristian. My rabotali god u tureckogo sultana, on
byl tak dovolen, chto {e1}to ne poddaet$\!\,$sya opisaniyu. Po{e1}tomu
on nam nichego i ne napisal.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Podumaesh{p1}, turecki\u{i} sultan!\\
~~Genrikh. Indi\u{i}ski\u{i} Veliki\u{i} Mogol lichno blagodaril.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Podumaesh{p1}, indi\u{i}ski\u{i} mogol! Vy ne zanete
razve, chto nasha naciya---vysshaya v mire? Vse drugie nikuda
ne godyat$\!\,$sya, a my molodcy. Ne slykhali, chto li?\\
~~Khristian. Krome togo, nasha tkan{p1} obladaet odnim
nebyvalym chudesnym svo\u{i}stvom.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Voobrazhayu ... Kakim?\\
~~Khristian. A ya uzhe govoril, vashe velichestvo. Ee
tol{p1}ko umny\u{i} i uvidit. Tkan{p1} {e1}ta nevidima tem lyudyam,
kotorye neprigodny dlya svoe\u{i} dolzhnosti ili neprokhodimye
duraki.\\
~~Korol{p1} (zainteresovanny\u{i}). Nu-ka, nu-ka. Kak {e1}to?\\
~~Khristian. Nasha tkan{p1} nevidima lyudyam, kotorye neprigodny
dlya svoe\u{i} dolzhnosti ili glupy.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kha-kha-kha! Okh-okh-okh! O\u{i}, umorili! Fu ty
chert! Vot {e1}tot, znachit, pervy\u{i}-to ministr, esli on
neprigoden dlya svoe\u{i} dolzhnosti, tak on {e1}to\u{i} tkani ne
uvidit? \\
~~Khristian. Net, vashe velichestvo. Takovo chudesnoe
svo\u{i}stvo {e1}to\u{i} tkani.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Akh-kha-kha! (Raskisaet ot smekha.) Starik,
slyshish{p1}? A, ministr! Tebe govoryu!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vashe velichestvo, ya ne veryu v
chudesa.\\
~~Korol{p1} (zamakhivaet$\!\,$sya kinzhalom). Chto? Ne verish{p1} v
chudesa? Vozle samogo trona chelovek, kotorye ne verit
v chudesa? Da ty materialist! Da ya tebya v podzemel{p1}e!
Nakhal!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vashe velichestvo! Pozvol{p1}te vam
po-starikovski popenyat{p1}. Vy menya ne doslushali. Ya
khotel skazat{p1}: ya ne veryu v chedesa, govorit bezumec v
serdce svoem. {E1}to bezumec ne verit, a my tol{p1}ko chudom
i derzhimsya!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Akh, tak! Nu, togda nichego. Podozhdite,
tkachi. Kakaya zamechatel{p1}naya tkan{p1}! Znachit, s neyu ya
uvizhu, kto u menya ne na meste?\\
~~Khristian. Tak tochno, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. I srazu po\u{i}mu, kto glupy\u{i}, a kto umny\u{i}?\\
~~Khristian. V odin mig, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Shelk?\\
~~Khristian. Chisty\u{i}, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Podozhdite. Posle priema princessy ya s
vami pogovoryu.\\
(Trubyat truby.)\\
Chto tam takoe? A? Uzna\u{i}, starik!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. {E1}to pribyl ministr nezhnykh chuvstv
vashego velichestva.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Aga, aga, aga! Nu-ka, nu-ka! Skoree,
ministr nezhnykh chuvstv! Da nu zhe, skoree!\\
(Vkhodit ministr nezhnykh chuvstv.)\\
Khoroshie vesti? Po licu vizhu, chto khoroshie. Zdravstvu\u{i}te,
ministr nezhnykh chuvstv.\\
~~Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Nu, nu, dorogo\u{i}. Ya slushayu, mo\u{i} mily\u{i}.\\
~~Ministr. Vashe velichestvo. Uvy! V smysle nravstvennosti
princessa sovershenno bezukoriznenna.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Khe-khe! Pochemu zhe "uvy"?\\
~~Ministr. Chistota krovi---uvy, vashe velichestvo.
Princessa ne pochuvstvovala goroshiny pod dvadcat{p1}yu chetyr{p1}mya
perinami. Bolee togo, vsyu dorogu v dal{p1}ne\u{i}shem
ona spala na odno\u{i} perine.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Chego zhe ty ulybaesh{p1}sya? Osel! Znachit,
svad{p1}be ne byvat{p1}! A ya tak nastroilsya! Nu chto {e1}to!
Nu kakaya gadost{p1}! Idi syuda, ya tebya zarezhu!\\
~~Ministr. No, vashe velichestvo, ya sebya ne schital
vprave skryt{p1} ot vas {e1}tu nepriyatnuyu pravdu.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Se\u{i}chas ya tebe pokazhu nepriyatnuyu pravdu!\\
(Gonit$\!\,$sya za nim s kinzhalom.)\\
~~Ministr (vizzhit). O\u{i}! Akh! Ya ne budu bol{p1}she!
Poshchadite! (Ubegaet iz komnaty.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. Von! Vse poshli von! Rasstoroili! Obideli!
Zatochu! Sterilizuyu! Von! \\
(Vse, krome pervogo ministra, ubegayut iz priemno\u{i}.)\\
(Podletaet k pervomu ministru.) Gnat{p1}! Nemedlenno
gnat{p1} princessu! Mozhet, ona semitka? Mozhet, ona khamitka?
Proch{p1}! Von!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vashe velichestvo! Vyslusha\u{i}te starika.
Ya pryamo, grubo, kak medved{p1}. Prognat{p1} ee za
to, chto ona, mol, ne chistokrovnaya, ---obidit$\!\,$sya otec.\\
~~Korol{p1} (topaet nogo\u{i}). I pust{p1}!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vspykhnet vo\u{i}na.\\
~~Korol{p1}. I chikhat{p1}!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. A luchshe vy s princesso\u{i} povida\u{i}tes{p1} i
zayavite myagko, delikatno: mne, mol, figura ne
nravit$\!\,$sya. Ya grubo skazhu, po-pryamomu: vy ved{p1}, vashe
velichestvo, v {e1}tikh delakh zantok. Vam ugodit{p1} trudno.
Nu, my princessu potikhonechku-polegonechku i sprovadim.
Vizhu! Vizhu! Akh, korol{p1}, akh, umnica! On ponyal, chto
ya prav! On soglasen!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ya soglasen, starik. Po\u{i}di prigotov{p1} vse
k priemu, potom ya ee sprovazhu. Prinyat{p1} ee vo dvore!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Okh, korol{p1}! Okh, geni\u{i}! (Ukhodit.) \\
~~Korol{p1} (kaprizno). Nu {e1}to, nu {e1}to uzhasno! Opyat{p1} rasstoroili.
Shuta! Shuta skore\u{i}! Govori, shut. Veseli
menya. Veseli!\\
(Shut vbegaet vpripyzhku.)\\
~~Shut. Odin kupec ...\\
~~Korol{p1} (pridirchivo). Kak familiya?\\
~~Shut. Lyudvigsen. Odin kupec shel cherez mostik---da
lyap v vodu.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kha-kha-kha!\\
~~Shut. A pod mostom shla lodka. On grebca kablukom
po golove.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kha-kha-kha! Po golove? Kho-kho-kho!\\
~~Shut. Grebec tozhe---lyap v vodu, a tut po beregu starushka
shla. On ee za pla{p1}e---i tuda zhe v vodu.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kha-kha-kha! Umoril! Okh-okh-okh! Kha-kha-kha!
Kha-kha-kha! (Vytiraet slezy, ne svodya vostorzhennogo
vzglyada s shuta.) Nu?\\
~~Shut. A ona ...\\
\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Zanaves)\\
\\
(Korolevski\u{i} dvor, vymoshchenny\u{i} raznocvetnymi plitami.
U zadne\u{i} steny---tron. Sprava---zagorodka dlya publiki.)\\
~~Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv (vkhodit prikhramyvaya. Krichit.)
Okh! Syuda, gospodin kamerger! Okh!\\
~~Kamerger. Chego vy stonete? Ranili vas? A!
U-lyu-lyu!\\
~~Ministr. A! Net, ne ranili! Ubili! Syuda! Nesite
port$\!\,$shez s nevesto\u{i} syuda! Okh!\\
~~Kamerger. Da chto sluchilos{p1}? Uou!\\
~~Ministr. Uvidite! (Ubegaet.)\\
(Vnosyat port$\!\,$shez s princesso\u{i}. Guvernantka i kamerger
idut ryadom s port$\!\,$shezom.)\\
~~Kamerger (nosil{p1}shchikam). Stav{p1}te port$\!\,$shez i begite
begom. Ne podkhodite k okoshku, naglecy! Atu ego!\\
~~Guvernantka (kamergeru). Skazhit im: vyn{p1} ruki fon
karman. Ne nos terebi. Sto\u{i} pryam!\\
~~Kamerger. Akh, mne ne do vospitabl{p1}. Togo i glyadi,
chto tvoya-moya princessa peredadut zapisku gogol{p1}-mogol{p1}!
(Nosil{p1}shchikam.) Nu chego slushaete? Vse ravno ved{p1} vy
ne ponimaete inostrannykh yazykov. Von!\\
(Nosil{p1}shchiki ubegayut.)\\
(Guvernantke.) Nu pryamo una gora de plech svalila sebya
a\u{i}n, cva\u{i}, dra\u{i}. Teper{p1} sdadim dize princessu korolyu
s odno\u{i}-ruki na druguyu. I---una duna res.\\
~~Guvernantka (veselo). Kvinter, baba, zhes. I moya
rada.\\
~~Kamerger (princesse). Vashe vysochestvo. Prigotov{p1}tes{p1}.
Se\u{i}chas ya po\u{i}du dolozhu o nashem pribytii kokrolyu.
Vashe vysochestvo! Vy spite?\\
~~Princessa. Net, ya zadumalas{p1}.\\
~~Kamerger. Okh! Nu ladno! (Guvernantke.) Stav{p1}te
sebya kolo to\u{i} kalitki, lobi-tobi. I smotrite vovshu.
Ya smotayu sebya avek korol{p1}.\\
~~Guvernantka. Und! (Stanovit$\!\,$sya u vkhoda vo dvor.)\\
~~Princessa. Zdes{p1} vse chuzhoe, vse vylozheno kamnyami,
net ni odno\u{i} travki. Steny smotryat, kak volki na yagnenka.
Ya by ispugalas{p1}, no zapiska slavnogo, kudryavogo,
dobrogo moego, laskovogo, rodnogo, khoroshen{p1}kogo Genrikha
tak menya obradovala, chto ya dazhe ulybayus{p1}. (celuet zapisku.)
Akh, kak ona slavno pakhnet orekhami.
Akh, kak ona krasivo promaslilas{p1}. (Chitaet.) "My zdes{p1}.
Ya s belymi volosami i belo\u{i} borodo\u{i}. Ruga\u{i} korolya.
Skazhi emu, chto on polokho odet. Genrikh". Ya nichego ne
ponimayu. Akh, kako\u{i} on umny\u{i}! No gde on? Khotya by na
sekundochku ego uvidet{p1}.\\
(Iz-za steny penie. Tikho poyut dva muzhskikh golosa: \\
~~~~~~~~~~Zavoyuem schast{p1}e s boyu\\
~~~~~~~~~~I po\u{i}dem domo\u{i}.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ty i ya, da my s toboyu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Drug mo\u{i} dorogo\u{i}.\\
~~Princessa. Akh, {e1}to ego golos! Znachit, on se\u{i}chas
by\u{i}det. Tak bylo v proshly\u{i} raz---spel i pokazalsya!\\
(Vykhodit pervy\u{i} ministr i zastyvaet, kak by porazhenny\u{i}
krasoto\u{i} princessy.)\\
{E1}to on! S belymi volosami, s belo\u{i} borodo\u{i}.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Pozvol{p1}te, vashe vysochestvo, mne
po-grubomu, po-starikovski, po-otcovski skazat{p1} vam:
ya vne sebya ot vashe\u{i} krasoty.\\
~~Princessa (podbegaet k nemu). Nu!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (nedoumevaya). Da, vashe vysochestvo.\\
~~Princessa. Pochemu ty ne govorish{p1}: derni menya za
borodu?\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (v uzhase). Za chto, vashe vysochestvo?\\
~~Princessa (khokhochet). Akh, ty! Teper{p1} ty menya ne
obmanesh{p1}! Ya tebya srazu uznala!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Bozhe mo\u{i}!\\
~~Princessa. Teper{p1} ya nauchilas{p1} dergat{p1} kak sleduet!\\
(Dergaet ego za borodu izo vse\u{i} sily.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (vizglivo). Vashe vysochestvo!\\
(Princessa dergaet ego za volosy i sryvaet parik. On
lysy\u{i}.)\\
(Vizglivo.) Pomogite!\\
(Guvernantka bezhit k nemu.)\\
~~Guvernantka. Chto on s ne\u{i} delaet, chuzho\u{i} starik!
Lya! Pa-de-trua!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. No moya---pervaya ministra ego velichestva.\\
~~Guvernantka. Zachem, princessa, vy ego bitte-dritte?\\
~~Princessa. A pust{p1} on valit$\!\,$sya ko vsem chrtyam na
roga!\\
~~Guvernantka. Vype\u{i}te kapli, vas is das.\\
~~Princessa. A ya ikh k d{p1}yavolu razbila, svoloch{p1}.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} inistr (radostno khokhochet. V storonu). Da
ona sovershenno sumasshedshaya! {E1}to ochen{p1} khorosho!
My ee ochen{p1} prosto otpravim obratno. Po\u{i}du dolozhu
korolyu. A vprochem, net, on ne lyubit nepriyatnykh dokladov.
Pust{p1} sam uvidit. (Princesse.) Vashe vysochestvo,
pozvol{p1}te skazat{p1} vam pryamo, po-starikovski: vy takaya
shalun{p1}ya, chto serdce raduet$\!\,$sya. Fre\u{i}liny v vas vlyubyat$\!\,$sya,
e\u{i}-bogu. Mozhno, ya ikh pozovu? Oni vas obchistyat
s dorogi, pokazhut to, drugoe, a my tem vremenem prigotovimsya
zdes{p1} k vstreche. Devochki!\\
(Stroem vkhodyat fre\u{i}liny.)\\
Pozvol{p1}te, princessa, predstavit{p1} vam fre\u{i}lin. Oni
vam ochen{p1} rady.\\
~~Princessa. I ya ochen{p1} rada. Mne zdes{p1} tak odinoko,
a pochti vse vy tak zhe molody, kak ya. Vy mne de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no
rady?\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Primite raport, vashe vysochestvo.\\
~~Princessa. Chto?\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}na. Vashe vysochestvo! Za vremya moego
dezhurstva nikakikh proisshestvi\u{i} ne sluchilos{p1}. Nalico
chetyre fre\u{i}liny. Odna v okolotke. Odna v naryade.
Dve v isterike po sluchayu predstoyashchego brakosochetaniya.\\
(Kozyryaet.)\\
~~Princessa. Vy razve soldat, fre\u{i}lina?\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Nikak net, ya general. Pro\u{i}dite
vo dvorec, princessa. Devochki! Slusha\u{i} moyu komandu!
Sha-go-om---arsh!\\
(Idut.)\\
~~Princessa. {E1}to uzhasno!\\
(Skryvayut$\!\,$sya v dveryakh.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. {E1}\u{i}, vy tam! Vvedite soldat. Ya
idu za tolpo\u{i}. (Ukhodit.)\\
(Vkhodyat soldaty s oficerom.)\\
~~Oficer. Predchuvstvuya vstrechu s korolem, ot volneniya
oslabe\u{i}!\\
(Soldaty prisedayut.)\\
Vprisyadku---arsh!\\
(Soldaty idut vprisyadku.)\\
Le-ve\u{i}! Pra-ve\u{i}! K ste-e-ne! Smirno!\\
(Vkhodit tolpa. Ee vedet za zagorodku pervy\u{i} ministr.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (tolpe). Khot{p1} ya i znayu, chto vy samye
vernopoddannye, no napominayu vam: vo dvorce ego
velichestva rot otkryvat{p1} mozhno tol{p1}ko dlya togo, chtoby
kriknut{p1} "ura" ili ispolnit{p1} gimn. Ponyali?\\
~~Tolpa. Ponyali.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Plokho ponyali. Vy uzhe v korolevskom
dvorce. Kak zhe vy vmesto "ura" govorite chto-to
drugoe? A?\\
~~Tolpa (sokrushenno). Ura.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Ved{p1} korol{p1}! Po\u{i}mite: korol{p1}---i
vdrug tak blizko ot vas. On mudry\u{i}, on osobenny\u{i}!
Ne tako\u{i}, kak drugie lyudi. I {e1}takoe chudo prirody---vdrug
v dvukh shagakh ot vas. Udivitel{p1}no! A?\\
~~Tlpa (blagogove\u{i}no). Ura.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Sto\u{i}te molcha, poka korol{p1} ne poyavit$\!\,$sya.
Po\u{i}te gimn i krichite "ura", poka korol{p1} ne
skazhet "vol{p1}no". Posle {e1}togo molchite. Tol{p1}ko kogda
po znaku ego prevoskhoditel{p1}stva zakrichit korolevskaya
gvardiya, krichite i vy. Ponyali?\\
~~Tolpa (rassuditel{p1}no). Ura.\\
(Priblizhayushchi\u{i}sya krik: "Korol{p1} idet! Korol{p1} idet!
Korol{p1} idet! Vkhodit korol{p1} so svito\u{i}.)\\
~~Oficer (komanduet). Pri vide korolya ot vostorga v
obmorok---shlep! \\
(Soldaty padayut.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (tolpe). Po\u{i} gimn!\\
~~Tolpa. Vot tak korol{p1}, nu i korol{p1}, fu-ty, nu-ty,
chto za korol{p1}! Ura-a! Vot tak korol{p1}, nu i korol{p1},
fu-ty, nu-ty, chto za korol{p1}! Ura-a!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Vol{p1}no!\\
(Tolpa zamolkaet.)\\
~~Oficer. V sebya pri\u{i}-di!\\
(Soldaty podymayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. Nu gde zhe ona? Nu chto {e1}to! Kakaya toska!
Mne khochet$\!\,$sya poskore\u{i} pozavtrakat{p1}, a tut {e1}ta ...
polu-krovnaya. Gde zhe ona? Nado ee skoree sprovadit{p1}.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Idet, vashe velichestvo.\\
(Vykhodit princessa s fre\u{i}linami.)\\
~~Oficer (komanduet). Pri vide molodo\u{i} krasavicy
princessy zhizneradostno pry-ga\u{i}!\\
(Soldaty prygayut.)\\
(S momenta poyavleniya princessy korol{p1} nachinaet vesti
sebya zagadochno. Ego lico vyrazhaet rasteryannost{p1}. On
govorit glukho, kak by zagipnotizirovanny\u{i}. Smotrit
na princessu, nagnuv golovu, kak byk. Princessa vskhodit
na vozvyshenite.)\\
~~Oficer (komanduet). Uspo-ko\u{i}s{p1}!\\
(Soldaty ostanavlivayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Korol{p1} (somnambulicheski. Gorlovym tenorom). Zdravstvu\u{i}te,
princessa.\\
~~Princessa. Idi ty k chertovo\u{i} babushke.\\
(Nekotoroe vremya korol{p1} glyadit na princessu, kak by
starayas{p1} vniknut{p1} v smysl ee slov. Zatem, stranno ulybnuvshis{p1},
razvorachivaet privet$\!\,$stvie i otkashlivaet$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Oficer~(komanduet). Ot vnimaniya obalde\u{i}!\\
~~Korol{p1} (tem zhe tonom). Princessa. Ya schastliv, chto
vy kak solnce vzoshili na mo\u{i} tron. Svet vashe\u{i} krasoty
ozaril vse vokrug.\\
~~Princessa. Zatknis{p1}, dyryavy\u{i} meshok.\\
~~Korol{p1} (tak zhe). Ya schastliv, princessa, chto vy ocenili
menya po dostoinstvu.\\
~~Princessa. Osel.\\
~~Korol{p1} (tak zhe). Vy tak khorosho menya ponyali, princessa,
chto ya mogu skazat{p1} tol{p1}ko odno: vy tak zhe umny,
kak i prekrasny.\\
~~Princessa. Durak parshivy\u{i}. Baran.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ya chusvtvuyu, chto my lyubim drug druga, princessa,
pozvol{p1}te vas pocelovat{p1}. (Delaet shag vpered.)\\
~~Princessa. Poshel von, sukin syn!\\
(Pushechnaya pal{p1}ba. Likuyushchee "ura". Princessa skhodit
s vozvysheniya. Korol{p1} stranno\u{i} pokhodko\u{i}, ne sgibaya
kolen, idet na avanscenu. Ego okruzhayut fre\u{i}liny.
Pervy\u{i} ministr podderzhivaet ego za lokot{p1}.)\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Vashe velichestvo! Razreshite
ushchipnut{p1} derzkuyu?\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vashe velichestvo, ya doktora pozovu.\\
~~Korol{p1} (s trudom). Net, ne doktora ... Net ... (Krichit.)
Tkache\u{i}!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Oni zdes{p1}, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1} (krichit). Nemedlenno sshit{p1} mne svadebny\u{i}
naryad!\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. No vy slyshali, vashe velichstvo,
kak ona narushala disciplinu?\\
~~Korol{p1}. Net, ne slyshal! Ya tol{p1}ko videl! Ya vlyubilsya!
Ona chudnaya! Zhenyus{p1}! Se\u{i}chas zhe zhenyus{p1}! Kak
vy smeete udvlenno smotret{p1}? Da mne plevat{p1} na ee
proiskhozhdenie! Ya vse zakony peremenyu---ona khoroshen{p1}kaya!
Net! Zapishi! Ya zhaluyu e\u{i} nemedlenno samoe vlagorodnoe
proiskhozhdenie, samoe chistokrovnoe! (Revet.) Ya zhenyus{p1},
khotya by ves{p1} svet byl protiv menya!\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Zanaves)\\
\\
(Koridor dvorca. Dver{p1} v komnatu tkache\u{i}. Princessa
stoit, prizhavshis{p1} k stene. Ona ochen{p1} grustna. Za
steno\u{i} gremit baraban.)\\
~~Princessa. {E1}to ochen{p1} tyazhelo---zhit{p1} v chuzho\u{i} strane.
Zdes{p1} vse {e1}to ... nu kak ego ... mili ... militarizovano ... Vse
pod baraban. Derev{p1}ya v sadu vystroeny
vzvodnymi kolonnami. Pticy letayut pobatal{p1}onno.
I krome togo, {e1}ti uzhasnye, osvyashchennye vekami tradicii,
ot kotorykh uzhe sovershenno nel{p1}zya zhit{p1}. Za obedom
podayut kotlety, potom zhele iz apel{p1}sinov, potom
sup. Tak ustanovleno s devyatogo veka. cvety v sadu
pudryat. Koshe breyut, ostavlyaya tol{p1}ko bakenbardy i
kistochku na khvoste. I vse {e1}to nel{p1}zya narushit{p1}---inache
pogibnet gosudarstvo. Ya byla by ochen{p1} terpeliva, esli
by Genrikh byl so mno\u{i}. No Genrikh propal, propal Genrikh!
Kak mne ego na\u{i}ti, kogda fre\u{i}liny khodyat sledom za mno\u{i}
stroem! Tol{p1}ko i zhizn{p1}, kogda ikh uvodyat na uchenie ...
Ochen{p1} trudno bylo peredergat{p1} vsekh borodache\u{i}.
Po\u{i}maesh{p1} borodacha v koridore, dernesh{p1}---no boroda sidit, kak
prishitaya, borodach vizzhit---nikako\u{i} radosti. Govoryat,
novye tkachi borodatye, a fre\u{i}liny kak raz marshiruyut na
ploshchadi, gotovyat$\!\,$sya k svadebnomu paradu. Tkachi rabotayut
zdes{p1}. Vo\u{i}ti, dernut{p1}? Akh, kak strashno! A vdrug
i zdes{p1} Genrikha net! Vdrug ego po\u{i}mali i po tradicii
vos{p1}mogo veka pod baraban otrubili emu na ploshchadi golovu!
Net, chuvstvuyu ya, chuvstvuyu---pridet$\!\,$sya mne {e1}togo korolya
zarezat{p1}, a {e1}to tak protivno! Po\u{i}du k tkacham.
Nadenu perchatki. U menya mozoli na pal{p1}cakh ot vsekh {e1}tikh
borod. (Delaet shag k dveri, no v koridor vkhodyat fre\u{i}liny
stroem.)\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Razreshite dolozhit{p1}, vashe vysochestvo?\\
~~Princessa. Kru-u-gom!\\
(Fre\u{i}liny povorachivayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
Arsh!\\
(Fre\u{i}liny ukhodyat. Skryvayut$\!\,$sya. Princessa delaet shag k dveri.
Fre\u{i}liny vozvrashchayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Podvenechny\u{i} naryad ...\\
~~Princessa. Krugo-om-arsh!\\
(Fre\u{i}liny delayut neskol{p1}ko shagov, vozvrashchayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Gotov, vashe vysochestvo.\\
~~Princessa. Krugo-o-m---arsh!\\
(Fre\u{i}liny povorachivayut$\!\,$sya, idut. Im navstrechu korol{p1} i
pervy\u{i} ministr.)\\
~~Pervaya fre\u{i}lina. Smi-irno!\\
~~Korol{p1}. A-a, dushechki. Akh! Ona. I sovershenno
takaya zhe, kak ya ee videl vo sne, tol{p1}ko gorazdo bolee
serditaya. Princessa! Dushechka. Vlyublenny\u{i} v vas ne mozhet
ne lyubit{p1} vas.\\
~~Princessa. Katites{p1} k d{p1}yavolu. (Ubegaet, soprovozhdaemaya
fre\u{i}linami.)\\
~~Korol{p1} (khokhochet). Sovershenno iznervnichalas{p1}. Ya
ee tak ponimayu. Ya tozhe sovershenno iznyl ot neterpeniya.
Nichego. Zavtra svad{p1}ba. Se\u{i}chas ya uvizhu {e1}tu zamechatel{p1}nuyu
tkan{p1}. (Idet k dveri i ostanavlivaet$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vashe velichestvo, vy shli, kak vsegda,
pravil{p1}no. Syuda, syuda.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Da pogodi ty ...\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Tkachi-to, prostite za grubost{p1},
imenno zdes{p1} i rabotayut.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Znayu, znayu. (Vykhodit na avanscenu.) Da ...
Tkan{p1}-to osobennaya ... Konechno, mne nechego bespokoit{p1}sya.
Vo-pervykh, ya umen. Vo-vtorykh, ni na kakoe drugoe
mesto, krome korolevskogo, ya sovershenno ne goden.
Mne i na korolevskom meste vechno chego-to ne khvataet,
ya vsegda serzhus{p1}, a ne lyubom drugom ya byl by prosto
strashen. I vse-taki ... Luchshe by snachala k tkacham
poshel kto-nibud{p1} drugo\u{i}. Vot pervy\u{i} ministr. Starik
chestny\u{i}, umny\u{i}, no vse-taki glupe\u{i} menya. Esli on uvidit
tkan{p1}, to ya i podavno. Ministr! Podite syuda!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Ya zdes{p1}, vashe velichstvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ya vspomnil, chto mne eshche nado sbegat{p1} v sokrovishchnicu
vybrat{p1} neveste brillianty. Stupa\u{i}te posmotrite
{e1}tu tkan{p1}, a potom dolozhite mne.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vashe velichestvo, prostite za
grubost{p1} ...\\
~~Krol{p1}. Ne proshu. Stupa\u{i}te! Zhivo! (Ubegaet.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Da-a. Vse {e1}to nichego ... Odnako ...
(Krichit.) Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv!\\
(Vkhodit ministr nezhnykh chuvstv.)\\
~~Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. Zdravstvu\u{i}te.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Zdravstvu\u{i}te. Vot chto---menya zhdut
v kancelyarii. Stupa\u{i}te k tkacham i dolozhite mne, chto
u nikh i kak. (V storonu.) Esli {e1}tot durak uvidit
tkan{p1}, to ya i podavno ...\\
~~Ministr. No, gospodin pervy\u{i} ministr, ya dolzhen
po\u{i}ti se\u{i}chas v kazarmu k fre\u{i}linam korolya i ugovorit{p1} ikh
ne plakat{p1} na zavtrashne\u{i} svad{p1}be.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Uspeete. Stupa\u{i}te k tkacham. Zhivo!
(Ubegaet.)\\
~~Ministr. Da-a. Ya, konechno ... Odnako ...
(Krichit.) Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t!\\
(Vkhodit pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t.)\\
Stupa\u{i}te k tkacham i dolozhite, chto u nikh i kak. (V
storonu.) Esli {e1}tot durak uvidit tkan{p1}, to ya i podavno.\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t. No ya, vashe prevoskhdotel{p1}stvo,
konchayu stikhi na vyezd princessy iz svoego korolevstva
v nashu rodnuyu stranu.\\
~~Ministr. Komu {e1}to teper{p1} interesno? Princessa
uzhe dve nedeli kak priekhala. Stupa\u{i}te. Zhivo! (Ubegaet.)\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t. Ya, konechno, ne durak ... No ...
\E, byla ne byla! V kra\u{i}nem sluchae sovru! Vpervo\u{i} li
mne! (Stuchit v dver{p1}.)\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Zanaves)\\
\\
(Komnata tkache\u{i}. Dva bol{p1}shikh ruchnykh tkackikh stanka
sdvinuty k stene. Dve bol{p1}shie ramy stoyat posredi komnaty.
Ramy pustye. Bol{p1}sho\u{i} stol. Na stole---nozhnicy,
podushechka s zolotymi bulavkami, skladno\u{i} arshin.)\\
~~Khristian. Genrikh! Genrikh, byd{p1} vesele\u{i}! U nas
toncha\u{i}shi\u{i} shelk, kotory\u{i} nam dali dlya tkan{p1}ya, vot
on v meshke. Ya sotku iz nego chudnoe plat{p1}e dlya tvoe\u{i} nevesty.
A v {e1}to\u{i} sumke zolot. My poedem domo\u{i} na samykh
luchshikh konyakh. Vesele\u{i}, Genrikh!\\
~~Genrikh. Ya ochen{p1} vesely\u{i}. Ya molchu potomu, chto dumayu.\\
~~Khristian. O chem?\\
~~Genrikh. Kak ya s Genrietto\u{i} vecherom budu gulyat{p1} u
reki, chto vozle nashego doma.\\
(Stuk v dver{p1}. Khristian khvataet nozhnicy, naklonyaet$\!\,$sya
na stolom i delaet vid, chto rezhet. Genrikh risuet melkom
po stolu.)\\
~~Khristian. Vo\u{i}dite.\\
(Vkhodit pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t.)\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, pridvornye tkachi.\\
~~Khristian (ne ostavlyaya rabotu). Zdravstvu\u{i}te, pridvorny\u{i}
po{e1}t.\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t. Vot chto, tkachi, ---menya prislali
s ochen{p1} vazhnym porucheniem. Ya dolzhen posmotret{p1} i
opisat{p1} vashu tkan{p1}.\\
~~Khristian. Pozhalu\u{i}sta, gospodin po{e1}t. Genrikh, kak
ty dumaesh{p1}, cvety roz nam postavit{p1} kverkhu list{p1}yami
ili k verkhu lepestkami?\\
~~Genrikh (prishchurivayas{p1}). Da. Pozhalu\u{i} da. Pozhalu\u{i},
lepestkami. Na lepestkakh shelk otlivaet krasivee.
Korol{p1} dyshit, a lepestki shevelyat$\!\,$sya, kak zhivye.\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t. Ya zhdu, tkachi!\\
~~Khristian. Chego imenno, gospodin po{e1}t?\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t. To est{p1} kak chego imenno? Zhdu,
chtoby vy mne pokazali tkan{p1}, sdelannuyu vami dlya kostyuma
korolya.\\
(Genrikh i Khristian brosili rabotu. Oni smotoryat na pridvornogo
po{e1}ta s kra\u{i}nim uzumleniem.)\\
(Pugaet$\!\,$sya.) Nu nechego, nechego! Slushite vy? Zachem
tarashchite glaza? Esli ya v chem oshibsya---ukazhite na moyu
oshibku, a sbivat{p1} menya s tolku ne k chemu! U menya rabota
nervnaya! Menya nado berech{p1}!\\
~~Khristian. No my kra\u{i}ne porazheny, gospodin po{e1}t!\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t. Chem? Se\u{i}chas govorite, chem?\\
~~Khristian. No tkani pered vami. Vot na {e1}tikh dvukh
ramakh shelka natyanuty dlya prosushki. Vot oni grudo\u{i} lezhat
na stole. Kako\u{i} cvet, kako\u{i} risunok!\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t (otkashlivaet$\!\,$sya). Konechno, lezhat.
Von oni lezhat. Takaya gruda. (Opravlyaet$\!\,$sya.) No ya
prikazyval vam pokazat{p1} mne shelk. Pokazat{p1} s ob{p2}yasneniyami:
chto po\u{i}det na kamzol, chto na plashch, chto na kaftan.\\
~~Khristian. Pozhalu\u{i}sta, gospadin po{e1}t. Na {e1}to\u{i} rame---shelk
trekh sortov. (Po{e1}t zapisyvaet v knizhechku.) Odin,
tot, chto ukrashen rozami, po\u{i}det na kamzol korolya.
{E1}to budet ochen{p1} krasivo. Korol{p1} dyshit, a lepeski shevelyat$\!\,$sya,
kak zhivye. Na {e1}tom srednem---znaki korolevskogo gerba. {E1}to na plashch.
Na {e1}tom melkie nezabudki---na
pantalony korolya. Chisto bely\u{i} shelk {e1}to\u{i} ramy po\u{i}det
na korolevskoe bel{p1}e i na chulki. {E1}tot atlas---na
obshivku korolevskikh tufel{p1}. Na stole---otrezy vsekh sortov.\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t. A skazhite, mne interesno, kak
vy na vashem prostom yazyke nazyvaete cvet {e1}togo pervogo
kuska? S rozami.\\
~~Khristian. Na nashem prostom yazyke fon {e1}togo kuska
nazyvaet$\!\,$sya zalenym. A na vashem?\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t. Zelenym.\\
~~Genrikh. Kako\u{i} vesely\u{i} cvet---pravda, gospodin po{e1}t?\\
~~Pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t. Da. Kha-kha-kha! Ochen{p1} vesely\u{i}!
Da. Spacibo, tkachi! Vy znaete---vo vsem dvorce tol{p1}ko i
razgovoru, chto o vashe\u{i} izumitel{p1}no\u{i} tkani. Kazhdy\u{i}
tak i drozhit ot zhelaniya ubedit{p1}sya v gluposti drugogo.
Se\u{i}chas pridet syuda ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. Do svidaniya,
tkachi.\\
~~Khristian i Genrikh. Do svidaniya, pridvorny\u{i} po{e1}t.
(Po{e1}t ukhodit.)\\
~~Genrikh. Nu, delo teper{p1} idet na lad, Khristian.\\
~~Khristian. Teper{p1} ya zastavlyu prygat{p1} ministra nezhnykh
chuvstv, Genrikh.\\
~~Genrikh. Kak prygat{p1}, Khristian?\\
~~Khristian. Kak myachik, Genrikh.\\
~~Genrikh. I ty dumaesh{p1}, on poslushaet$\!\,$sya, Khristian?\\
~~Khristian. Ya prosto uveren v {e1}tom, Genrikh.\\
(Stuk v dver{p1}. Vkhodit ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. V rukakh
u nego listki iz zapisno\u{i} knizhki po{e1}ta. Samouverenno
idet k pervo\u{i} rame.)\\
~~Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. Kakie divnye rozy!\\
~~Khristian (diko vskrikivaet). A!\\
~~Ministr (podprygnuv). V chem delo?\\
~~Khristian. Prostite, gospodin ministr, no razve vy
ne vidite? (Pokazyvaet emu pod nogi.)\\
~~Ministr. Chto ya ne vizhu? Kakogo cherta ya tut dolzhen
uvidet{p1}?\\
~~Khristian. Vy stoite na shelke, iz kotorogo my
khoteli kroit{p1} na polu kamzol.\\
~~Ministr. Akh, vizhu, vizhu! (Shagaet v storonu.)\\
~~Genrikh. Akh! Vy topchete korolevski\u{i} plashch!\\
~~Ministr. Akh, proklyataya rasseyannost{p1}! (Prygaet
daleko vpravo.)\\
~~Khristian. A! Bel{p1}e korolya!\\
(Ministr prygaet daleko vlevo.)\\
~~Genrikh. A! Chulki korolya!\\
(Ministr delaet gigant$\!\,$ski\u{i} pryzhok k dveri.)\\
~~Khristian. A! Bashmaki korolya!\\
(Ministr vyprygivaet v dver{p1}. Prosovyvaet golovu v
komnatu.)\\
~~Ministr (iz dveri). Akh, kakaya prekrasnaya rabota!
My, ministry, po dolzhnosti svoe\u{i} obyazany derzhat{p1} golovy
kverkhu. Po{e1}tomu to, chto vnizu, na polu, ya s neprivychki
plokho vizhu. No to, chto v rame, to, chto na
stole---rozy, gerby, nezabudki, ---krasota, krasota!
Prodolzha\u{i}te, gospoda tkachi, prodolzha\u{i}te. Se\u{i}chas k vam
pridet pervy\u{i} ministr. (Ukhodit, zakryv dver{p1}.)\\
~~Khristian. Kto byl prav, Genrikh?\\
~~Genrikh. Ty byl prav, Khristian.\\
~~Khristian. A pervogo ministra ya nazovu v glaza durakom,
Genrikh.\\
~~Genrikh. Pryamo v glaza, Khristian?\\
~~Khristian. Pryamo v glaza, Genrikh.\\
(Pervy\u{i} ministr otkryvaet dver{p1}, prosovyvaet golovu.
Khristian, kak by ne zamechaya ego, idet za ramu.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. {E1}\u{i}, tkachi! Vy by pribrali na polu.
Takaya dorogaya tkan{p1}---i valyaet$\!\,$sya v pyli. A\u{i}, a\u{i}, a\u{i}!
Se\u{i}chas korol{p1} syuda idet!\\
~~Genrikh. Slushayu, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo. (Delaet
vid, chto uviraet i skladyvaet tkan{p1} na stoly.)\\
(Pervy\u{i} ministr vkhodit. Ostorozhno stanovit$\!\,$sya u dvere\u{i}.
Khristian, oto\u{i}dya za ramu, dostaet iz karmana butylku.
P{p1}et.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. {E1}\u{i} ty, naglec, kak ty smeesh{p1} pit{p1} vodku
za raboto\u{i}?\\
~~Khristian. Chto {e1}to za durak tam oret?\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. A! Da ty oslep, chto li? {E1}to ya,
pervy\u{i} ministr!\\
~~Khristian. Prostite, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo, ya
iz-za tkane\u{i} vas ne vizhu, a golosa ne uznal. A kak
vy menya uvideli---vot chto neponyatno!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. A ya ... po zapakhu. Ne lyublyu
{e1}tu vodku proklyatuyu. Ya ee za verstu chuyu.\\
(Khristian vykhodit iz-za ramy.)\\
~~Khristian. Da razve {e1}to vodka, ---{e1}to voda, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Chto ty suesh{p1} v nos mne svoyu skvernuyu
flyazhku! Stan{p1} na mesto! Se\u{i}chas korol{p1} pridet!
(Ukhodit.)\\
(Iz-za kulis slyshno penie: korol{p1} idet i veselo poet.)\\
~~Korol{p1} (Za kulisami). Se\u{i}chas pridu i poglyazhu, se\u{i}chas
pridu i poglyazhu, se\u{i}chas pridu i poglyazhu, tru-lya-lya!\\
(Veselo vkhodit v komnatu. Za nim pridvornye.)\\
Tru-lya-lya, tru-lya-lya! (Upavsim golosom.) Tru-lya-lya!\\
(Pauza.)\\
(S neopredelenno\u{i} ulybko\u{i} delaet chrezvycha\u{i}no shiroki\u{i}
zhest ruko\u{i}.) Nu! Nu, kak? A?\\
~~Pridvornye. Zamechatel{p1}no, chudno, kakaya tkan{p1}!\\
~~Ministr. Tkan{p1} roskoshna i blagorodna, vashe velichestvo!\\
~~Pridvornye. Vot imenno! Kak pokhozhe! Roskoshna i
blagorodna!\\
~~Korol{p1} (pervomu ministru). A ty chto skazhesh{p1}, chestny\u{i}
starik! A?\\
(Korol{p1} podavlen, no bodrit$\!\,$sya. Govorit s pervym ministrom,
a glyadit na stol i ramy, vidimo nadeyas{p1} nakonets
uvidet{p1} chudesnuyu takn{p1}. Na litse vse ta zhe zastyvshaya
ulybka.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vashe velichestvo, na {e1}tot raz ya
skazhu vam takuyu chistuyu pravdu, kako\u{i} svet ne vidal.
Mozhet, vy udivites{p1}, vashe velichestvo, mozhet, ya porazhu
vas, no ya skazhu!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Tak-tak.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vy prostite menya, no podchas khochet$\!\,$sya
byt{p1} de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no pryamym. Nikako\u{i} tkani, vashe
velichstvo, vy nigde ne na\u{i}dete, podobno\u{i} {e1}to\u{i}. {E1}to
i pyshno, i krasochno.\\
~~Pridvornye. Akh kak verno! Pyshno i krasochno. Ochen{p1} tochno
skazano.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Da, molodcy tkachi. Ya vizhu, u vas togo ...
vse uzhe dovol{p1}no gotovo? ...\\
~~Khristian. Da, vashe velichestvo. Nadeyus{p1}, vashe velichestvo
ne osudit nas za cvet {e1}tikh roz?\\
~~Korol{p1}. Net, ne osuzhu. Da, ne osuzhu.\\
~~Khristian. My reshili, chto krasnye rozy v dostatochnom
kolichestve kazhdy\u{i} vidit na kustakh.\\
~~Kokorol{p1}. Na kustakh vidit. Da. Prekrasno, prekrasno.\\
~~Khristian. Po{e1}tomu na shelku my ikh sdelali sire ...
(kashlyaet) sire ... (kashlyaet.)\\
~~Pridvornye. Sirenevymi, kak ostroumno! Kak original{p1}no---sirenevymi!
Roskoshno i blagorodno.\\
~~Khristian. Serebryanymi, gospoda pridvornye.\\
(Pauza.)\\
~~Ministr. Bravo, bravo! (Aplodiruet, pridvornye prisoedinyayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ya tol{p1}ko chto khotel poblagodarit{p1} vas za
to, chto serebryanymi, {e1}to mo\u{i} lyubimy\u{i} cvet. Bukval{p1}no
tol{p1}ko chto. Vyrazhayu vam moyu korolevskuyu blagodarnost{p1}.\\
~~Khristian. A kak vy nakhodite, vashe velichestvo, fason
{e1}togo kamzola---ne slishkom smel?\\
~~Korol{p1}. Da, ne slishkom. Net. Dovol{p1}no razgovarivat{p1},
dava\u{i}te primeryat{p1}. Mne eshche nado sdelat{p1} ochen{p1} mnogo
del.\\
~~Khristian. Ya poproshu gospodina ministra nezhnykh chuvstv
poderzhat{p1} kamzol korolya.\\
~~Ministr. Ya ne znayu, dostoin li ya?\\
~~Korol{p1}. Dostoin. Da. Nu-s. (Bodrit$\!\,$sya.) Dava\u{i}te
emu {e1}tot krasivy\u{i} kamzol ... Razden{p1}te menya, pervy\u{i}
ministr. (Razdevaet$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Khristian. Akh!\\
~~Ministr (podprygibaet, glyadya pod nogi). Chto takoe?\\
~~Khristian. Kak vy derzhite kamzol, gospodin ministr?\\
~~Ministr. Kak svyatynyu ... Chto?\\
~~Khristian. No vy derzhite ego vverkh nogami.\\
~~Ministr. Zalyubovalsya na risunok. (Vertit v rukakh
nesushchestvuyushchi\u{i} kamzol.)\\
~~Khristian. Ne budet li tak dobr gospodin pervy\u{i}
ministr poderzhat{p1} pantalony korolya?\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Ya, druzhok, iz kancelyarii, u menya
ruki v chernilakh. (Odnomu iz pridvornykh.) Voz{p1}mite,
baron!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} pridvorny\u{i}. Ya zabyl ochki, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo.
Vot markiz ...\\
~~Vtoro\u{i} pridvorny\u{i}. Ya slishkom vzvolnovan, u menya
drozhat ruki. Vot graf ...\\
~~Treti\u{i} pridvorny\u{i}. U nas v sem{p1}e plokhaya primeta
derzhat{p1} v rukakh korolevskie pantalony ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. V chem tam delo? Odeva\u{i}te menya skoree.
Ya speshu.\\
~~Khristian. Slushayu, vashe velichestvo. Genrikh, syuda.
Nozhku, vashe velichestvo. Leve\u{i}! Ya boyus{p1}, chto
gospoda pridvornye odeli by vas bolee lovko. My smushchaemsya
pered takim velikim korolem. Vot, pantalony
nadety. Gospodin ministr nezhnykh chuvstv, kamzol. Prostite,
no vy derzhite ego spino\u{i}. Akh! Vy ego uronili!
Pozvol{p1}te, togda my sami. Genrikh, plashch. Vse. Predest{p1} {e1}to\u{i}
tkani---ee legkost{p1}. Ona sovershenno ne chuvstvuet$\!\,$sya
na plechakh. Bel{p1}e budet gotovo k utru.\\
~~Korol{p1}. V plechakh zhmet. (Povorachivaet$\!\,$sya pered zarkalom.)
Plashch dlinnovat. No, v obshchem, kostyum mne idet.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Vashe velichestvo, prostite za grubost{p1}.
Vy voobshche krasavec, a v {e1}tom kostyume---vdvo\u{i}ne.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Da? Nu, snima\u{i}te.\\
(Tkachi razdevayut korolya i odevayut ego v kostyum)\\
Spasibo, tkachi. Molodcy. (Idet k dveri.)\\
~~Pridvornye. Molodcy, tkachi! Bravo! Roskoshno i
blagorodno! Pyshno i krasochno! (Khlopayut tkache\u{i} po
plechu.) Nu, teper{p1} my vas ne otpustim. Vy vsekh nas
odenete!\\
~~Korol{p1} (ostanavlivaet$\!\,$sya v dveryakh). Prosite chego
khotite. Ya dovolen.\\
~~Khristian. Razreshite nam soprovozhdat{p1} vas, vashe
velichestvo, v svadebnom shestvii. {E1}to budet nam luchshaya
nagrada.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Razreshayu. (Ukhodit s pridvornymi.)\\
~~Genrikh i Khristian (poyut). \\
~~~~~~~~~~My sil{p1}nee vsekh pridvornykh,\\
~~~~~~~~~~My smele\u{i} pronyr provornykh.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Vy boites{p1} za mesta---\\
~~~~~~~~~~Znachit, sovet{p1} nechista.\\
~~~~~~~~~~My ne boimsya nichego.\\
~~~~~~~~~~My nedarom dolgo tkali,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Nashi tkani krepche stali,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Krepche stali porazyat\\
~~~~~~~~~~I svine\u{i}, i porosyat.\\
~~~~~~~~~~My ne boimsya nichego.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Esli my vraga povalim,\\
~~~~~~~~~~My sebya potom pokhvalim,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Esli vrag ne po plechu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Popadem my k palachu.\\
~~~~~~~~~~My ne boimsya nechigo.\\
(Zanaves opuskaet$\!\,$sya na neskol{p1}ko sekund. Podymaet$\!\,$sya.
Ta zhe komnata utrom. Za oknami slyshen shum tolpy. Korolya
odevayut za shirmami. Pervy\u{i} ministr stoit na
avanscene.)\\
(Zanaves opuskaet$\!\,$sya na neskol{p1}ko sekund. Podymaet$\!\,$sya.
Ta zhe komnata utrom. Za oknami slyshen shum tolpy. Korolya
odevayut za shirmami. Pervy\u{i} ministr stoit na avanscene.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Zachem ya v pervye ministry poshel?
Zachem? Malo li drugikh dolzhnoste\u{i}? Ya chuvdtvuyu---khudo
konchit$\!\,$sya segodnyashnee delo. Duraki uvidyat korolya golym.
{E1}to uzhasno! {E1}to uzhasno! Vsya nasha nacional{p1}naya sistema,
vse tradicii derzhat$\!\,$sya na nepokolebimykh durakakh.
Chto budet, esli oni drognut pri vide nagogo gusudarya?
Pokoleblyut$\!\,$sya ustoi, zatreshchat steny, dym po\u{i}det nad
gosudarstvom! Net, nel{p1}zya vypuskat{p1} korolya golym.
Pyshnost{p1}---velikaya opora trona! Byl u menya drug, gvarde\u{i}ski\u{i}
polkovnik. Vyshel on v ot$\!\,$stavku, yavilsya ko mne
bez mundira. I vdrug ya vizhu, chto on ne polkovnik, a
durak! Uzhas! S bleskom mundira ischez prestizh, ischezlo
ocharovanie. Net! Po\u{i}du i pryamo skazhu gosudaryu:
nel{p1}zya vykhodit{p1}! Net! Nel{p1}zya!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Chetny\u{i} starik!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (bezhit). Grubo govorya, vot ya.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Idet mne {e1}to bel{p1}e?\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Govorya v lob, {e1}to krasota.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Spasibo. Stupa\u{i}!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (snova na avanscene). Net! Ne mogu!
Nichego ne mogu skazat{p1}, yazyk ne povorachivaet$\!\,$sya! Otvyk
za tridcat{p1} let sluzhby. Ili skazat{p1}? Ili ne skazat{p1}?
Chto budet! Chto budet!\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Zanaves)\\
\\
(Ploshchad{p1}. Na perednem plane---vozvyshenie, krytoe kovrami.
Ot vozvysheniya po obe storony---ustlannye kovrami
dorogi. Levaya doroga vedet k vorotam korolevskogo zamka.
Pravaya skryvet$\!\,$sya za kulisami. Zagorodka, ukrashennaya
roskoshnymi tkanyami, otdelyaet ot dorogi i vozvysheniya
tolpu. Tolpa poet, shumit, svistit. Kogda
shum zatikhaet, slyshny otdel{p1}nye razgovory.)\\
~~Pervaya dama. Akh, menya tak volnuet novoe plat{p1}e korolya!
U menya ot volneniya vchera dva raza byl razryv serdca!\\
~~Vtoraya dama. A ya tak volnovalas{p1}, chto mo\u{i} muzh upal
v obmorok.\\
~~Nyshchi\u{i}. Pomogite! Karaul!\\
~~Golosa. Chto takoe? Chto sluchilos{p1}?\\
~~Nishchi\u{i}. U menya ukrali koshelek!\\
~~Golos. No tam, navernoe, byli groshi?\\
~~Nishchi\u{i}. Groshi! Naglec! U samogo iskusnogo, starogo,
opytnogo nishchego---groshi! Tam bylo desyat{p1} tysyach talerov!
Akh! Vot on, koshelek, za podkladko\u{i}! Slava bogu!
Poda\u{i}te, Khrista radi.\\
~~Brity\u{i} gospodin. A vdrug korol{p1}-otec opozdaet?\\
~~Gospodin s borodo\u{i}. Neuzheli vy ne slyshali pushek?
Korol{p1}-otec uzhe priekhal. On i princessa-nevesta pridut
na ploshchd{p1} iz gavani. Korol{p1}-otec ekhal morem.
Ego v karete ukachivaet.\\
~~Brity\u{i} gospodin. A v more net?\\
~~Gospodin s borodo\u{i}. V more ne tak obidno.\\
~~Pekar{p1} s zheno\u{i}. Pozvol{p1}te, gospoda, pozvol{p1}te!
Vam poglazet{p1}, a my po delu!\\
~~Golosa. U vsekh odinakovye dela!\\
~~Perak{p1}. Net, ne u vsekh! Pyatnadcat{p1} let my sporim
s zheno\u{i}. Ona govorit, chto ya durak, a ya govoryu, chto
ona. Segodnya nakonec nash spor razreshit korolevskoe plat{p1}e.
Propustite!\\
~~Golosa. Ne propustim! My vse s zhenami, my vse
sporim, my vse po delu!\\
~~Chelovek s rebenkom na plechakh. Dorogu rebenku!
Dorogu rebenku! Emu shest{p1} let, a on umeet chitat{p1},
pisat{p1} i zanet tablicu umnozheniya. Za {e1}to ya obeshchal emu
pokazat{p1} korolya. Mal{p1}chik, skol{p1}ko sem{p1}yu vosem{p1}?\\
~~Mal{p1}chik. Pyat{p1}desyat shest{p1}.\\
~~Chelovek. Slyshite? Dorogu rebenku, dorogu moemu
umnomu synu! A skol{p1}ko budet shest{p1}yu vosem{p1}?\\
~~Mal{p1}chik. Sorok vosem{p1}.\\
~~Chelovek. Slyshite, gospoda? A emu vsego shest{p1} let.
Dorogu umnomu mal{p1}chiku, dorogu moemu synu!\\
~~Rasseyanny\u{i} chelovek. Ya zabyl doma ochki, i teper{p1} mne
ne uvidet{p1} korolya. Proklyataya blizorukost{p1}!\\
~~Karmannik. Ya mogu vas ochen{p1} legko vylechit{p1} ot blizorukosti.\\
~~Rasseyanny\u{i}. Nu! Kakim obrazom?\\
~~Karmannik. Massazhem. I se\u{i}chas zhe, zdes{p1}.\\
~~Rasseyanny\u{i}. Akh, pozhalu\u{i}sta. Mne zhena velela posmotret{p1} i
vse e\u{i} podrobno opisat{p1}, a ya vot zabyl ochki.\\
~~Karmannik. Otkro\u{i}te rot, zakro\u{i}te glaza i gromko
schita\u{i}te do dvadcati.\\
(Rasseyanny\u{i} schitaet vslukh, ne zakryvaya rta. Karmannik
kradet u nego chasy, koshelek, bumazhnik i skryvaet$\!\,$sya
v tolpe.)\\
~~Rasseyanny\u{i} (konchiv schet). Gde zhe on? On ubezhal!
A ya stal videt{p1} eshche khuzhe! Ya ne vizhu moikh chasov, moego
bumazhnika, moego koshel{p1}ka!\\
~~Chelovek. Dorogu moemu umnomu synu! Skol{p1}ko budet shet{p1}yu
shest{p1}?\\
~~Mal{p1}chik. Tridcat{p1} shest{p1}.\\
~~Chelovek. Vy slyshite? Dorogu moemu synu! Dorogu
genial{p1}nomu rebenku!\\
(Slyshen bo\u{i} barabanov. V tolpe dvizhenie. Lezut na
stolby, vstayut na tumby, na plechi drug drugu.)\\
~~Golosa. Idet! Idet!\\
~~---Von on!\\
~~---Krasivy\u{i}!\\
~~---I odet krasivo!\\
~~---Vy razdavili mne chasy!\\
~~---Vy seli mne na sheyu!\\
~~---Mozhete v sobstvennykh {e1}kipazhakh ezdit{p1}, esli vam
tut tesno!\\
~~---A eshche v shleme!\\
~~---A eshche v ochkakh!\\
(Pokazyvayut$\!\,$sya vo\u{i}ska.)\\
~~General (komanduet). Tolpu, ozhidayushchuyu korolya, ot
ogrady ottesni!\\
~~Soldaty (khorom). Poshli von. Poshli von. Poshli von.
Poshli von. (Ottesnyayut tolpu.)\\
~~General. K tolpe spi-i-no\u{i}!\\
(Soldaty povorachivayut$\!\,$sya spino\u{i} k tolpe, licom k vozvysheniyu.
Gremyat truby. Gerol{p1}dy shagayut po doroge.)\\
~~Gerol{p1}dy. Shapki dolo\u{i}, shapki dolo\u{i}, shapki dolo\u{i}
pered ego velichestvom!\\
(Ukhodyat vo dvorec. Iz-za kulis sprava vykhodit pyshno
odety\u{i} korol{p1}-otec s printsesso\u{i} v podvenechnom naryade.
Oni podnimayut$\!\,$sya na vozvyshenie. Tolpa zatikhaet.)\\
~~Princessa. Otec, nu khot{p1} raz v zhizni pover{p1} mne.
Ya tebe dayu chestnoe slovo: zhenkh---idiot!\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Korol{p1} ne mozhet byt{p1} iliotom, dochka.
Korol{p1} vsegda mudr.\\
~~Princessa. No on tolsty\u{i}!\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Dochka, korol{p1} ne mozhet byt{p1} tolstym.
{E1}to nazyvaet$\!\,$sya "velichavy\u{i}".\\
~~Princessa. On glukho\u{i}, po-moemu! Ya rugayus{p1}, a on
ne slyshit i rzhet.\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Korol{p1} ne mozhet rzhat{p1}. {E1}to on milostivo
ulybaet$\!\,$sya. Chto ty ko mne pristaesh{p1}? Chto ty
smotrish{p1} zhalobnymi glazami? Ya nichego ne mogu sdelat{p1}?
Otvernis{p1}! Vot ya tebe kotelok privez. Ved{p1} ne cely\u{i}
zhe den{p1} budet s toboyu korol{p1}. Ty poslushaesh{p1} muzyku,
kolokol{p1}chiki. Kogda nikogo ne budet blizko, mozhesh{p1} dazhe
poslushat{p1} pesnyu. Nel{p1}zya zhe princesse vykhodit{p1} zamuzh
za svinopasa! Nel{p1}zya.\\
~~Princessa. On ne svinpas, a Genrikh!\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Vse ravno! Ne bud{p1} durochko\u{i}, ne podryva\u{i}
uvazheniya k korolevsko\u{i} vlasti. Inache sosednie
koroli budut nad tobo\u{i} milostivo ulybat{p1}sya.\\
~~Princessa. Ty tiran!\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Nichego podobnogo. Von---smotri. Bezhit
ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. Razveselis{p1}, dochka. Smotri,
kako\u{i} on smeshno\u{i}!\\
~~Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. Vashe velichestvo i vashe vysochestvo!
Mo\u{i} gosudar{p1} se\u{i}chas vy\u{i}det. Oni izvolyat gonyat{p1}sya
s kinzhalom za vtorym kamergerom, kotory\u{i} usmekhnulsya,
uvidya novoe plat{p1}e nashego vsemilostive\u{i}shego povelitelya.
Kak tol{p1}ko naglec budet nakazan---gosudar{p1} pridet.\\
(Trubyat truby.)\\
Kamerger nakazan!\\
(Vykhodyat gerol{p1}cy.)\\
~~Gerol{p1}cy. Shapki dolo\u{i}, shapki dolo\u{i}, shapki dolo\u{i}
pered ego velichestvom!\\
(Iz dvorca vykhodyat trubachi, za nimi stroem fre\u{i}liny,
za fre\u{i}linami pridvornye v rasshitykh mundirakh. Za nimi
pervy\u{i} ministr.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Korol{p1} idet! Korol{p1} idet! Korol{p1} idet!\\
(Oglyadyvaet$\!\,$sya. Korolya net.)\\
Ot$\!\,$stavit{p1}! (Bezhit vo dvorec. Vozvrashchet$\!\,$sya. Korolyu-otcu.)
Se\u{i}chas! Gosudar{p1} zaderzhalsya, grubo govorya, u
zerkala. (Krichit.) Korol{p1} idet, korol{p1} idet, korol{p1} idet!\\
(Oglyadyvaet$\!\,$sya. Korolya net. Bezhit vo dvorec. Vozvrashchaet$\!\,$sya.)\\
(Korolyu-otcu.) Nesut, nesut! (Gromko.) Korol{p1} idet!
Korol{p1} idet! Korol{p1} idet!\\
(Vynosyat portshez s korolem. Korol{p1}, milostivo ulybayas{p1},
smotrit iz okna. Port$\!\,$shez ostanavlivaet$\!\,$sya. Tolpa krichit "ura".
Soldaty padayut nic. Dverca port$\!\,$sheza
otkryvaet$\!\,$sya. Ottuda vyskakivaet korol{p1}. On sovershenno
gol. Privet$\!\,$stvennye kriki razom obryvayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Princessa. Akh! (Otvorachivaet$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~General. V sebya pri\u{i}-di!\\
(Soldaty vstayut, vzglyadyvayut na korolya i snova valyat$\!\,$sya
nic v uzhase.)\\
V sebya pri\u{i}-di!\\
(Soldaty s trudom vypryamlyayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
Otver-nis{p1}!\\
(Soldaty otvorachivayut$\!\,$sya. Tolpa molchit. Korol{p1} medlenno
samodovol{p1}no ulybayas{p1}, ne svodya glaz s princessy,
dvigaet$\!\,$sya k vozvysheniyu. Podkhodit k princesse.)\\
~~Korol{p1} (galantno). Dazhe samaya pyshnaya odezhda ne
mozhet skryt{p1} plameni, pylayushchego v moem serdce.\\
~~Princessa. Papa. Teper{p1}-to ty vidish{p1}, chto on idiot?\\
~~Korol{p1}. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, kuzen!\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, kuzen. (Shepotom.)
Chto vy delaete, kuzen? Zachem vy poyavlyaetes{p1} pered
poddannymi v takom vide?\\
~~Korol{p1} (shepotom). Chto? Znachit, i vy tozhe? Kha-kha-kha!\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Chto ya tozhe?\\
~~Korol{p1}. Libo ne na meste, libo durak! Tot, kto ne vidit
{e1}tu tkan{p1}, libo ne na meste, libo durak!\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Durak tot, kto vidit {e1}tu tkan{p1}, bessovestny\u{i}!\\
~~Korol{p1}. {E1}to kto zhe bessovestny\u{i}?\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Tishe govorite! A to chern{p1} uslyshit
nas. Govorite tishe i ulyba\u{i}tes{p1}. Vy bessovestny\u{i}!\\
~~Korol{p1} (prinuzhdenno ulybayas{p1}. Tikho). Ya?\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Da!\\
~~Korol{p1} (nekotoroe vrymya molchit, polny\u{i} negodovaniya.
Potom upavshim golosom sprashivaet.) Pochemu?\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec (shipit zlobno, ne perestavaya ulybat{p1}sya).
Potomu chto vylez na ploshchad{p1}, polnuyu naroda, bez shtanov!\\
~~Korol{p1} (khlopaet sebya po noge). A {e1}to chto?\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Noga!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Noga?\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Da!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Net.\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Golaya noga!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Zachem zhe vrat{p1}-to? Dayu chestnoe korolevskoe
slovo, chto ya odet kak kartinka!\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Goly\u{i}, goly\u{i}, goly\u{i}!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Nu chto {e1}to, nu kakaya gadost{p1}! Nu zachem
{e1}to! Pridvornye! Ya odet?\\
~~Pridvornye. Pyshno i krasochno! Roskoshno i blagorodno!\\
~~Korol{p1}. S{p2}el? Pervy\u{i} ministr! Ya odet?\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (obychnym tonom). Prostite za grubost{p1},
vashe velichestvo. (Svirepo.) Ty goly\u{i}, stary\u{i}
durak! Ponimaesh{p1}? Goly\u{i}, goly\u{i}, goly\u{i}!\\
(Korol{p1} izdaet stranny\u{i} vopl{p1}, pokhozhi\u{i} na ikanie.
Vopl{p1} {e1}tot polon kra\u{i}nego izumleniya.)\\
Ty posmotri na narod! Na narod posmotri! Oni zadumalis{p1}.
Zadumalis{p1}, neschastny\u{i} shut! Tradicii treshchat!
Dym idet nad gosudarstvom!\\
(Korol{p1} izdaet tot zhe vopl{p1}.)\\
Molchi, skvazhina! General! Syuda!\\
(General rys{p1}yu bezhit na vozvyshenie.)\\
Vo\u{i}ska nadezhny? Oni zashchityat korolya v sluchae chego?
Slyshite, kak narod bezmolvstvuet?\\
~~General. Pogoda podvela, gospodin pervy\u{i} ministr!\\
~~Korol{p1}. A?\\
~~General. Pogoda, vashe velichestvo. S utra khmurilas{p1} i
mnogie iz tolpy na vsyaki\u{i} slucha\u{i} vzyali zontiki ... \\
~~Korol{p1}. Zontiki?\\
~~General. Da, vashe velichestvo. Oni vooruzheny zontikami.
Bud{p1} tolpa bezoruzhna, a tut zontiki.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Zontiki?\\
~~General. Esli poshlo nachistotu---ne ruchayus{p1} i za soldat.
Ot$\!\,$stupyat! (Shepotom.) Oni u menya razlozhennye!\\
(Korol{p1} izdaet tot zhe vopl{p1}, pokhozhi\u{i} na ikanie.)\\
Ya sam udivlyayus{p1}, vashe velichestvo. Knig net, listovok
net, agitatorav net, disciplina roskoshnaya, a oni u menya
o kazhdym dnem vse bol{p1}she razlagayut$\!\,$sya. Proboval
komandovat{p1}---razlagat{p1}sya prekra-ati! Ne beret!\\
~~Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. Nu ya ne znayu, nu tak nel{p1}zya,
ya sam tozhe nedovolen, ya po\u{i}du tuda, k narodu!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Molchat{p1}!\\
~~Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. Nado sozdat{p1} Vremenny\u{i}
komitet bezopasnosti pridvornykh.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Molchat{p1}! Nel{p1}zya teryat{p1} vremeni!
Nado tolpu oshelomit{p1} naglost{p1}yu. Nado kak ni v chem ne
byvalo prodolzhat{p1} brachnuyu ceremoniyu!\\
~~Princessa. Ya ...\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr (s poklonom). Molchat{p1}!\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. On prav! Dava\u{i}, dava\u{i}!\\
~~Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. U menya fre\u{i}liny militarizovannye.
Oni zashchityat nash komitet.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Erunda tvoi fre\u{i}liny! Beri princessu
za ruku, korol{p1}. (Mashet gerol{p1}dam.)\\
~~Gerol{p1}dy. Tishina! Tishina! Tishina!\\
(Pauza.)\\
~~Mal{p1}chik. Papa, a ved{p1} on goly\u{i}!\\
(Molchanie i vzryv krikov.)\\
~~Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv (bechit vo dvorec i krichit na
khodu). U menya mat{p1} kuznec, otec prachka! Dolo\u{i}
samoderzhavie!\\
~~Mal{p1}chik. I goly\u{i}, i tolsty\u{i}!\\
~~Kriki. Slyshite, chto govorit rebenok? On ne mozhet
byt{p1} ne na svoem meste!\\
~~---On ne sluzhashchi\u{i}!\\
~~---On umny\u{i}, on znaet tablicu umnozheniya!\\
~~---Korol{p1} goly\u{i}!\\
~~---Na zhivote borodavka, a nalogi beret!\\
~~---Zhivot arbuzom, a govorit---povinu\u{i}sya!\\
~~---Pryshchik! Von pryshchik u nego!\\
~~---A tuda zhe, sterilizuet!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Molchat{p1}! Ya narochno. Da. Ya vse narochno.
Ya povelevayu: otnyne vse dolzhny venchat{p1}sya golymi. Vot!\\
(Svist.)\\
Duraki parshivye!\\
(Svist. Korol{p1} mchit$\!\,$sya vo dvorec. Pervy\u{i} ministr, a
za nim vse pridvornye mchat$\!\,$sya sledom. Na vozvyshenii
korol{p1}-otec i princessa.)\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Bezhim! Smotri, kakie glaza u {e1}tikh
lyude\u{i} za zagorodko\u{i}! Oni videli korolya golym. Oni i
menya razdevayut glazami! Oni se\u{i}chas brosyat$\!\,$sya na menya!\\
~~Genrikh i Khrisitan (prygayut na vozvyshenie, krichat). U-u-u!\\
~~Korol{p1}-otec. Akh, nachalos{p1}! (Podobrav mantiyu,
bezhit po doroge napravo.)\\
~~Princessa. Genrikh!\\
~~Genrikh. Genrietta!\\
~~Khrisitian (tolpe). Dorogie moi! Vy prishli na prazdnik,
a zhenikh sbezhal. No prazdnik vse-taki sostoyalsya!
Razve ne prazdnik? Molodaya devushka vstretila
nakonec milogo svoego Genrikha! Khoteli ee otdat{p1} za
starika, no sila lyubvi razbila vse prepyat$\!\,$stviya. My
privet$\!\,$stvuem vash spravedlivy\u{i} gnev protiv {e1}tikh mrachnykh
sten. Privet$\!\,$stvu\u{i}te i vy nas, privet$\!\,$stvu\u{i}te lyubov{p1},
druzhbu, smekh, radost{p1}!\\
~~Princessa.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Genrikh, slavny\u{i} i kudryavy\u{i},\\
~~~~~~~~~~Genrikh, mily\u{i}, dorogo\u{i},\\
~~~~~~~~~~Levo\u{i}---pravo\u{i}, levo\u{i}---pravo\u{i}\\
~~~~~~~~~~Otvedet menya domo\u{i}.\\
~~Tolpa.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Pust{p1} likuet vsya zemlya,\\
~~~~~~~~~~My prognali korolya!\\
~~~~~~~~~~Pust{p1} likuet vsya zemlya,\\
~~~~~~~~~~My prognali korolya!\\
(Plyashut.)\\
~~Genrikh.\\
~~~~~~~~~~U kogo rassudok zdravy\u{i},\\
~~~~~~~~~~Tot primchit$\!\,$sya, molodec,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Levo\u{i}---pravo\u{i}, levo\u{i}---pravo\u{i}\\
~~~~~~~~~~Pryamo k schast{p1}yu nakonec!\\
~~Vse.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Pust{p1} likuet vsya zemlya, \\
~~~~~~~~~~My prognali korolya!\\
~~~~~~~~~~Pust{p1} likuet vsya zemlya, \\
~~~~~~~~~~My prognali korolya!\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Zanaves)\\











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