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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Goly\u{i} Korol{p1}\\
\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Evgeni\u{i} Shvarts \\
\\
~~~~~~~~~~De\u{i}stvuyushchie Litsa\\
Genrikh.\\
Khristian.\\
Korol{p1}.\\
Printsessa.\\
Korol{p1}-otets.\\
Ministry. \\
Pridvornye damy.\\
Zhandarmy.\\
Fre\u{i}liny.\\
Soldaty.\\
Publika.\\
\\
~~~~~~~~~~De\u{i}stvie Pervoe\\
(Luzha\u{i}ka, porosshaya tsvetami. Na zadnem plane -- korolevski\u{i} zamok.
Svin{p1}i brodyat po luzha\u{i}ke. Svinopas Genrikh rasskazyvaet. Drug
ego, tkach Khristian, lezhit zadumchvo na trave.)\\
~~Genrikh. Nesu ya cherez korolevski\u{i} dvor porosenka.
Emu kle\u{i}mo stavili korolevskoe. Pyatachok, a neverkhu korona.
Porosenok oret -- slushat{p1} strashno. I vdrug sverkhu
golos: perestan{p1}te muchat{p1} zhivotnoe, tako\u{i}-syako\u{i}! Tol{p1}ko
chto ya khotel vyrugat{p1}sya -- mne, ponimaesh{p1}, i samomu nepriyatno,
chto porosenok oret, -- glyanul naverkh, akh! a tam
printsessa. Takaya khoroshen{p1}kaya, takaya milen{p1}kaya, chto u
menya serdtse perevernulos{p1}. I reshil ya na ne\u{i} zhenit{p1}sya.\\
~~Khristian. Ty mne {e1}to za posledni\u{i} mesyats rasskazyvaesh{p1} v
sto pervy\u{i} raz.\\
~~Genrikh. Takaya, ponimaesh{p1}, belen{p1}kaya! Ya i govoryu:
printsessa, prikhodi na luzhok poglyadet{p1}, kak pasut$\!\,$sya svin{p1}i.
A ona: ya boyus{p1} svine\u{i}. A ya e\u{i} govoryu: svin{p1}i smirnye.
A ona: net, oni khryukayut. A ya e\u{i}: {e1}to cheloveku ne
vredit. Da ty spish{p1}?\\
~~Khristian (sonno). Spu.\\
~~Genrikh (povorachivaet$\!\,$sya k svin{p1}yam). I vot, dorogie
vy moi svinki, stal ya khodit{p1} kazhdy\u{i} vecher {e1}to\u{i} samo\u{i}
dorogo\u{i}. Printsessa krasuet$\!\,$sya v okne, kak tsvetochek,
a ya stoyu vnizu vo dvore kak stolb, prizhav ruki k serdtsu. I
vse e\u{i} povtoryayu: prikhodi na luzhok. A ona:
a chego ya tam ne videla? A ya e\u{i}: tsvety tam ochen{p1} krasivye.
A ona: oni i u nas est{p1}. A ya e\u{i}: tam raznotsvetnye kamushki,
a ona mne: podumaesh{p1}, kak interesno. Tak i
ugovarivayu, poka nas ne razgonyat. I nichem ee ne ubedish{p1}!
Nakonets ya pridumal. Est{p1}, govoryu, u menya kotelok s
kolokol{p1}chikami, kotory\u{i} prekrasnym golosom poet,
igraet na skripke, na valtorne, na fle\u{i}te i, krome
togo, rasskazyvaet, chto u kogo gotovit$\!\,$sya na obed.
Prinesi, govorit ona, syuda {e1}tot kotelok. Net, govoryu,
ego u menya otberet korol{p1}. Nu ladno, govorit, pridu
k tebe na luzha\u{i}ku v budushchuyu sredu, rovno v dvenadtsat{p1}.
Pobezhal ya k Khristianu. U nego ruki zolotye, i sdelali
my kotelok s kolokol{p1}chikami ... {E1}kh, svinki, svinki,
i vy zasnuli! Konechno, vam nadoelo ... Ya tol{p1}ko ob
{e1}tom tselymi dnyami i govoryu ... Nichego ne podelaesh{p1} --
vlyublen. Akh, idet! (Tolkaet svine\u{i}.) Vstava\u{i},
Grafinya, vstava\u{i}, Baronessa. Khristian! Khristian!
Prosnis{p1}!\\
~~Khristian. A? Chto?\\
~~Genrikh. Idet! Von ona! Belen{p1}kaya, na dorozhke.\\
(Genrikh tychet pal{p1}tsem vpravo.)\\
~~Khristian. Chego ty? Chego tam? Akh, verno -- idet!
I ne odna, so svito\u{i} ... Da perestan{p1} ty drozhat{p1}...
Kak ty zhenish{p1}sya na ne\u{i}, esli ty ee tak boish{p1}sya?\\
~~Genrikh. Ya drozhu ne ot strakha, a ot lyubvi.\\
~~Khristian. Genrikh, opomnis{p1}! Razve ot lyubvi polagaet$\!\,$sya
drozhat{p1} i chut{p1} li ne padat{p1} na zemlyu! Ty ne
devushki!\\
~~Genrikh. Printsessa idet.\\
~~Khristian. Raz idet, znachit, ty e\u{i} nravish{p1}sya. Vspomni,
skol{p1}ko devushek ty lyubil -- i vsegda blagopoluchno.
A ved{p1} ona khot{p1} i printsessa, a tozhe devushka.\\
~~Genrikh. Glavnoe, belen{p1}kaya ochen{p1}. Da\u{i} glotnu iz
flyazhki. I khoroshen{p1}kaya. I milen{p1}kaya. Idesh{p1} po dvoru,
a ona krasuet$\!\,$sya v okne, kak tsvetochek ... I ya kak stolb,
vo dvore, prizhavshi ruki k serdtsu ...\\
~~Khristian. Zamolchi! Glavnoe, bud{p1} tverd. Raz uzh
reshil zhenit{p1}sya -- ne ot$\!\,$stupa\u{i}. Okh, ne nadeyus{p1} ya na tebya.
Byl ty yunosha khitry\u{i}, khrabry\u{i}, a teper{p1}...\\
~~Genrikh. Ne ruga\u{i} menya, ona podkhodit ...\\
~~Khristian. I so svito\u{i}!\\
~~Genrikh. Ya nikogo ne vizhu, krome nee! Akh ty moya milen{p1}kaya!\\
(Vkhodyat printsessa i pridvornye damy. Damy stoyat v storone.)\\
~~Printsessa. Zdravstvu\u{i}, svinopas.\\
~~Genrikh. Zdravstvu\u{i}, printsessa.\\
~~Printsessa. A mne sverkhu, iz okna, kazalos{p1}, chto
ty men{p1}she rostom.\\
~~Genrikh. A ya bol{p1}she rostom.\\
~~Printsessa. I golos u tebya nezhne\u{i}. Ty so dvora
vsegda ochen{p1} gromko mne krichal.\\
~~Genrikh. A zdes{p1} ya ne krichu.\\
~~Printsessa. Ves{p1} dvorets znaet, chto ya poshla syuda
slushat{p1} tvo\u{i} kotelok, -- tak ty krichal! Zdravstvu\u{i},
svinopas! (Protyagivaet emu ruku.)\\
~~Genrikh. Zdravstvu\u{i}, printsessa. (Beret printsessu
za ruku.)\\
~~Khristian (shepchet). Smele\u{i}, smele\u{i}, Genrikh!\\
~~Genrikh. Printsessa! Ty takaya slavnen{p1}kaya, chto
pryamo strashno delaet$\!\,$sya.\\
~~Printsessa. Pochemu?\\
~~Genrikh. Belen{p1}kaya takaya, dobren{p1}kaya takaya, nezhnaya
takaya.\\
(Printsessa vskrikivaet.)\\
~~Genrikh. Chto s tovo\u{i}?\\
~~Printsessa. Von ta svin{p1}ya zlobno smotrit na nas.\\
~~Genrikh. Kotoraya? A! Poshla ot$\!\,$syuda proch{p1},
Baronessa, ili ya zavtra zhe tebya zarezhu.\\
~~Tret{p1}ya pridvornaya dama. Akh! (Padaet v obmorok.) \\
(Vse pridvornye damy ee okruzhayut.)\\
~~Vozmushchennye vozglasy. Grubiyan!\\
-- Nel{p1}zya rezat{p1} baronessu!\\
-- Nevezha!\\
-- {E1}to neprilichno -- rezat{p1} baronessu!\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama (Torzhestvenno podkhodit k
printsesse). Vashe vysochestvo! Zapretite {e1}tomu ...
{e1}tomu porosenku oskorblyat{p1} pridvornykh dam.\\
~~Printsessa. Vo-pervykh, on ne porosenok, a svinopas,
a vo-vtorykh, zachem ty obizhaesh{p1} moyu svitu?\\
~~Genrikh. Nazyva\u{i} menya, pozhalu\u{i}sta, Genrikh.\\
~~Printsessa. Genrikh? Kak interesno. A menya zovut
Genrietta.\\
~~Genrikh. Genrietta? Neuzheli? A menya Genrikh.\\
~~Printsessa. Vidish{p1}, kak khorosho. Genrikh!\\
~~Genrikh. Vot ved{p1}! Byvaet zhe .... Genrietta.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Osmelyus{p1} napomnit{p1} vashemu
vysochestvu, chto {e1}tot ... {e1}tot vash sobesednik sobiraet$\!\,$sya
zavtra zarezat{p1} baronessu.\\
~~Printsessa. Akh, da ... Skazhi, pozhalu\u{i}sta, Genrikh,
zachem ty sobiraesh{p1}sya zavtra zarezat{p1} baronessu?\\
~~Genrikh. A ona uzhe dostatochno raz{p2}elas{p1}. Ona uzhasno
tolstaya.\\
~~Tret{p1}ya pridvornaya dama. Akh! (Snova padaet v obmorok.)\\
~~Genrikh. Pochemu {e1}ta dama vse vremya kuvyrkaet$\!\,$sya?\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. {E1}ta dama i est{p1} ta baronessa,
kotoruyu vy nazvali svin{p1}e\u{i} i khotite zarezat{p1}.\\
~~Genrikh. Nichego podobnogo, vot svin{p1}ya, kotoruyu ya
nazval Baronesso\u{i} i khochu zarezat{p1}.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Vy {e1}tu svin{p1}yu nazvali
Baronesso\u{i}?\\
~~Genrikh. A {e1}tu Grafine\u{i}.\\
~~Vtoraya pridvornaya dama. Nichego podobnogo! Grafinya --
{e1}to ya!\\
~~Genrikh. A {e1}ta svin{p1}ya -- Gertsoginya.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Kakaya derzost{p1}! Gertsoginya
-- {e1}to ya! Nazyvat{p1} svine\u{i} vysokimi titulami! Vashe
vysochestovo, obratite vnimanie na neprilichny\u{i} postupok
{e1}togo svinopasa.\\
~~Printsessa. Vo-pervykh, on ne svinopas, a Genrikh.
A vo-vtorykh, svin{p1}i -- ego poddannye, i on vprave ikh
zhalovat{p1} lyubymi titulami.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. I voobshche on vedet sebya
neprilichno. On derzhit vas za ruku!\\
~~Printsessa. Chto zhe tut neprilichnogo! Esli by on
derzhal menya za nogu ...\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Umolyayu vas, molchite. Vy
tak nevinny, chto mozhete skazat{p1} sovershenno strashnye
veshchi.\\
~~Printsessa. A vy ne pristava\u{i}te. A skazhi, Genrikh,
pochemu u tebya takie tverdye ruki?\\
~~Genrikh. Tebe ne nravit$\!\,$sya?\\
~~Printsessa. Kakie gluposti! Kak {e1}to mne mozhet ne
nravit{p1}sya! U tebya ruki ochen{p1} milye.\\
~~Genrikh. Printsessa, ya tebe se\u{i}chas chto-to skazhu ... \\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama (reshitel{p1}no). Vashe vysochestvo!
My prishli syuda slushat{p1} kotelok. Esli my ne budem
slushat{p1} kotelok, a budem s kra\u{i}ne neprilichnym vnimaniem
slushat{p1} chuzhogo muzhchinu, ya se\u{i}chas zhe ...\\
~~Printsessa. Nu i ne slusha\u{i}te chuzhogo muzhchinu i
oto\u{i}dite.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. No on i vam chuzho\u{i}!\\
~~Printsessa. Kakie gluposti. Ya s chuzhimi nikogda
ne razgovarivayu.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Ya dayu vam slovo, printsessa,
chto se\u{i}chas zhe pozovu korolya.\\
~~Printsessa. Ot$\!\,$stan{p1}te!\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama (krichit, povernuvshis{p1} k
zamuku). Koro-ol{p1}! Idite syuda skore\u{i}. Printsessa uzhasno
sebya vedet!\\
~~Printsessa. A! kak oni mne nadoeli. Nu pokazhi
im kotelok, Genrikh, esli im tak khocht$\!\,$sya.\\
~~Genrikh. Khristian! Idi syuda. Dava\u{i} kotelok.\\
~~Khristian (dostaet iz meshka kotelok. Tikho). Molodets, Genrikh.
Tak ee. Ne vypuska\u{i} ee. Ona v tebya po
ushi vlyublena.\\
~~Genrikh. Ty dumaesh{p1}?\\
~~Khristian. Da tut i dumat{p1} nechego. Teper{p1}, glavnoe,
potselu\u{i} ee. Na\u{i}di slucha\u{i}! Tselu\u{i} ee, chtoby e\u{i} bylo
chto vspomnit{p1}, kogda domo\u{i} pridet. Vot, vashe vysochestvo
i vy, blagorodnye damy, zamechatel{p1}ny\u{i} kotelok s
kolokol{p1}chikami. Kto ego sdelal? My. Dlya chego? Dlya
togo, chtoby pozabavit{p1} vysokorozhdennuyu printsessu i blagorodnykh
dam. Na vid kotelok prost -- medny\u{i}, gladki\u{i},
zatyanut sverkhu oslino\u{i} kozhe\u{i}, ukrashen po krayam bubentsami.
No {e1}to obmanchivaya prostota. Za {e1}timi mednymi
bokami skryta samaya muzykal{p1}naya dusha v mire. Sygrat{p1} sto
sorok tantsev i spet{p1} odnu pesenku mozhet {e1}tot medny\u{i}
muzykant, pozvanivaya svoimi serebryanymi kolokol{p1}chikami.
Vy sprosite: pochemu tak mnogo tantsev? Potomu
chto on vesel, kak my. Vy sprosite: pochemu vsego odnu
pesenku? Potomu chto on veren, kak my. No {e1}to eshche ne
vse: {e1}ta chudode\u{i}stvennaya, veselaya i vernaya mashina pod
oslino\u{i} kozhe\u{i} skryvaet nos!\\
~~Pridvornye damy (khorom). Chto?\\
~~Khristian. Nos. I kako\u{i} nos, o prekrasnaya printsessa
i blagorodnye damy! Pod grubo\u{i} oslino\u{i} kozhe\u{i} tait$\!\,$sya,
kak nezhny\u{i} tsvetok, samy\u{i} tonki\u{i}, samy\u{i} chutki\u{i}
nos v mire. Dostatochno napravit{p1} ego s lyubogo
rasstoyaniya na lyubuyu kukhnyu lyubogo dama -- i nash veliki\u{i} nos
srazu pochuet, chto za obed tam gotovit$\!\,$sya. I srazu zhe
sovershenno yasno, pravda neskol{p1}ko v nos, opishet nam
nos {e1}tot samy\u{i} obed. O blagorodnye slushateli! S chego
my nachinem? S pesenki, s tantsev ili s obedov?\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Printsessa, s chego vy prikazhete
nachat{p1}? Akh! Ya zaslushalas{p1} i ne zametila!
Printsessa! Printsessa! Printsessa! Ya vam govoryu.\\
~~Printsessa (tomno). Mne? Akh, da, da. Govorite chto
khotite.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Chto vy delaete, printsessa?
Vy pozvolyaete obnimat{p1} sebya za taliyu. {E1}to neprilichno!\\
~~Printsessa. Chto zhe tut neprilichnogo? Esli by on
obnimal menya za ...\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Umolyayu vas, molchite. Vy
tak naivny, chto mozhete skazat{p1} sovershenno strashnye
veshchi!\\
~~Printsessa. A vy ne pristava\u{i}te. Idite slusha\u{i}te
kotelok!\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. No my ne znaem, s chego
nachat{p1}: s pesenki, s tantsev ili s obedov?\\
~~Printsessa. Kak ty dumaesh{p1}, Genrikh?\\
~~Genrikh. Akh ty moya milen{p1}kaya ...\\
~~Printsessa. On govorit, chto emu vse ravno.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. No ya sprashivayu vas, printsessa.\\
~~Printsessa. Ya zhe vam otvetila, chto nam vse ravno.
Nu nachina\u{i}te s obedov.\\
~~Pridvornye damy (khlopaya v ladoshi). S obedov, s
obedov, s obedov!\\
~~Khristian. Slushayu-s, blagorodnye damy. My stavim
kotelok na levy\u{i} bok i tem samym privodim v de\u{i}stvie
nos. Slyshite, kak on sopit?\\
(Slyshno gromkoe sopenie.)\\
~~Khristian. {E1}to on prinyukhivaet$\!\,$sya.\\
(Slyshno oglushitel{p1}noe chikhanie.)\\
~~Khristian. On chukhnul, -- sledovatel{p1}no, on se\u{i}chas
zagovorit. Vnimanie.\\
~~Nos (gnusavo). Ya v kukhne gertsogini.\\
~~Pridvornye damy (khlopaya v ladoshi). Akh, kak interesno!\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. No ...\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Ne mesha\u{i}te!\\
~~Nos. U gertsogini na plite nichego ne varit$\!\,$sya, a tol{p1}ko
razogrevaet$\!\,$sya.\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Pochemu?\\
~~Nos. Ona vchera za korolevskim uzhinom napikhala sebe
v rukava devyat{p1} buterbrodov s ikro\u{i}, dvenadtsat{p1} s
kolbaso\u{i}, pyat{p1} otbivnykh kotlet, odnogo krolika, shashlyk
potsarski, kuritsu pod belym sousom, pirozhkov raznykh
vosemnadtsat{p1} shtuk, sous tartar s kapersami i olivkami,
bef-file godar, sousiz fyum\e, natural{p1}ny\u{i} plombir s
tsukatami, parfe kofe\u{i}noe i korochku khlebtsa.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Ty vresh{p1}, nakhal{p1}ny\u{i} nos!\\
~~Nos. Ne dlya chego mne vrat{p1}. Ya tochny\u{i} pribor.\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Bravo, bravo, kak interesno, eshche, eshche!\\
~~Nos. Ya v kukhne u grafini.\\
~~Vtoraya pridvornaya dama. No ...\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Ne mesha\u{i}te.\\
~~Nos. Plita u grafini takaya kholodnaya, chkhi, chto ya
boyus{p1} skhvatit{p1} nasmork! Chkhi!\\
~~Pridvornye damy. No pochemu?\\
~~Nos. Plita u grafini tsely\u{i} mesyats ne topilas{p1}.\\
~~Pridvornye damy. No pochemu?\\
~~Nos. Ona tsely\u{i} mesyats obedaet v gostyakh. Ona
{e1}konomnaya.\\
~~Vtoraya pridvornaya dama. Vresh{p1}, besstydny\u{i} nos!\\
~~Nos. Chego mne vrat{p1}? Mashina ne vret. Ya u baronessy.
Zdes{p1} teplo. Pech{p1} gorit vovsyu. U baronessy prekrasny\u{i}
povar. On gotovit obed dlya goste\u{i}. On delaet
iz koniny kurinye kotlety. Se\u{i}chas ya idu k markize,
potom k general{p1}she, potom k prezident$\!\,$she ...\\
~~Pridvornye damy (krichat khorom). Dovol{p1}no, dovol{p1}no,
ty ustal.\\
~~Nos. Ya ne ustal.\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Net, ustal, ustal, dovol{p1}no,
dovol{p1}no!\\
~~Khristian (povorachivaet kotelok). Ya nadeyus{p1}, chto
vy v vostorge, blagorodnye damy?\\
(Pridvornye damy molchat.)\\
~~Khristian. Esli net -- pushchu nos opyat{p1} v puteshestvie.\\
~~Pridvornye damy. My dovol{p1}ny, dovol{p1}ny, spasibo,
bravo, ne nado!\\
~~Khristian. Ya vizhu, vy de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no dovol{p1}ny i vesely.
A raz vy dovol{p1}ny i vesely, to vam tol{p1}ko i
ostaet$\!\,$sya chto tantsevat{p1}. Se\u{i}chas vy uslyshite odin iz
sta soroka tantsev, zapryatannykh v {e1}tom kotelke.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Ya nadeyus{p1} -- {e1}to tanets bez ...
bez ... slov?\\
~~Khristian. O da, gertsoginya, {e1}to sovershenno bezobidny\u{i}
tanets. Itak, ya kladu kotelok na pravy\u{i} bok i --
vy slyshite?\\
(Pozvanivaya bubenchikami, kotelok nachinaet igrat{p1}.
Genrikh tantsuet s printsesso\u{i}. Khristian s gertsogine\u{i},
grafinya s baronesso\u{i}. Prochie pridvornye damy vodyat
vokrug khorovod. Tanets konchaet$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Eshche, eshche, kako\u{i} khoroshi\u{i} tanets!\\
~~Khristian. Nu, Genrikh, de\u{i}stvu\u{i}! Vot tebe predlog.\\
~~Printsessa. Da, pozhalu\u{i}sta, Genrikh, zavedi eshche raz
kotelok! Ya sama ne znala, chto tak lyublyu tantsevat{p1}.\\
~~Khristian. Vashe vysochestvo, u {e1}togo kotelka est{p1} odno
uzhasnoe svo\u{i}stvo.\\
~~Printsessa. Kakoe?\\
~~Khristian. Nesmotrya na svoyu muzykal{p1}nuyu dushu, on
nichego ne delaet darom. Pervy\u{i} raz on igral v
blagodarnost{p1} za to, chto vy prishli iz korolevskogo dvortsa
na nashu skromnuyu luzha\u{i}ku. Esli vy khotite, chtoby on
igral eshche ...\\
~~Printsessa. Ya dolzhna eshche raz pri\u{i}ti. No kak {e1}to
sdelat{p1}? Ved{p1} dlya {e1}togo nado u\u{i}ti, a mne tak ne
khochet$\!\,$sya!\\
~~Genrikh. Net, net, ne ukhodi, kuda tam, eshche rano,
ty tol{p1}ko chto prishla!\\
~~Printsessa. No on inache ne zaigraet, a mne tak khochet$\!\,$sya
eshche potantsevat{p1} s tobo\u{i}. Chto nuzhno sdelat{p1}?
Skazhi! Ya soglasna.\\
~~Genrikh. Nuzhno ... chtoby ty ... (skorogovorko\u{i})
desyat{p1} raz menya potselovala.\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Akh!\\
~~Printsessa. Desyat{p1}?\\
~~Genrikh. Potomu chto ya ochen{p1} vlyublen v tebya. Zachem
ty tak stranno smotrish{p1}? Nu ne desyat{p1}, nu pyat{p1}.\\
~~Printsessa. Pyat{p1}? Net!\\
~~Genrikh. Esli by ty znala, kak ya obraduyus{p1}, ty by
ne sporila ... Nu potselu\u{i} menya khot{p1} tri raza ...\\
~~Printsessa. Tri? Net! Ya ne soglasna.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Vy postupaete sovershenno
spravedlivo, vashe vysochestvo.\\
~~Printsessa. Desyat{p1}, pat{p1}, tri. Komu ty {e1}to
predlagaesh{p1}? Ty zabyvaesh{p1}, chto ya -- korolevskaya
doch{p1}! Vosem{p1}-desyat, vot chto!\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Akh!\\
~~Genrikh. Chto vosem{p1}desyat?\\
~~Printsessa. Potselu\u{i} menya vosem{p1}desyat raz! Ya
printsessa!\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Akh!\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Vashe vysochestvo, chto vy
delaete! On vas sobiraet$\!\,$sya tselovat{p1} v guby! {E1}to
neprilichno!\\
~~Printsessa. Chto zhe tut neprilichnogo? Ved{p1} v guby,
a ne ...\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Umolyayu vas, molchite! Vy
tak nevinny, chto mozhete skazat{p1} sovershenno strashnye
veshchi.\\
~~Printsessa. A vy ne pristava\u{i}te!\\
~~Genrikh. Skore\u{i}! Skokre\u{i}!\\
~~Printsessa. Pozhalu\u{i}sta, Genrikh, ya gotova.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Umolyayu vas, printsessa,
ne delat{p1} {e1}togo. Uzh esli vam tak khochet$\!\,$sya potantsevat{p1},
pust{p1} on menya potseluet khot{p1} sto raz ...\\
~~Printsessa. Vas? Vot {e1}to budet de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no
neprilichno! Vas on ne prosil. Vy sami predlagaete muzhchine,
chtoby on vas tseloval.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. No ved{p1} vy tozhe ...\\
~~Printsessa. Nichego podobnogo, menya on prinudil!
Ya vas ponimayu -- sto raz. Konechno, on tako\u{i} mily\u{i},
kudryavy\u{i}, u nego tako\u{i} pri$\!\,$yatny\u{i} rotik ... Ona otchasti
prava, Genrikh, ty menya potseluesh{p1} sto raz. I pozhalu\u{i}sta,
ne spor{p1}te, gertsoginya, inache ya prikazhu vas
zatochit{p1} v podzemel{p1}e.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. No korol{p1} mozhet uvidet{p1} vas
iz okon dvortsa!\\
~~Printsessa. Stan{p1}te vokrug! Slyshite! Stan{p1}te vokrug!
Zaslonya\u{i}te nas svoimi plat{p1}yami. Skore\u{i}! Kak
{e1}to mozhno -- meshat{p1} lyudyam, kotorye
sobralis{p1} tselovat{p1}sya! Idi syuda, Genrikh!\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. No kto budet schitat{p1}, vashe
vysochestvo?\\
~~Printsessa. {E1}to nevazhno! Esli my sob{p1}emsya -- to
nachinem snachala.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Schita\u{i}te, medam.\\
(Genrikh i printsessa tseluyut$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Raz.\\
(Potselu\u{i} prodolzhaet$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. No, vashe vysochestvo, dlya
pervogo raza, pozhalu\u{i}, uzhe dostatochno!\\
(Potselu\u{i} prodolzhaet$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Khristian. Ne trevozh{p1}te ego, madam, on vse ravno
nichego ne slyshit, ya ego znayu.\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. No ved{p1} {e1}to uzhasno!\\
(Iz kustov vyskakivaet korol{p1}. On v korone i v gornostaevo\u{i}
mantii.)\\
~~Pervaya pridvornaya dama. Korol{p1}!\\
~~Korol{p1}. U kogo est{p1} spichki, da\u{i}te mne spichki!\\
(Obshchee smyatenie. Genrikh i printsessa stoyat potupivshis{p1}.)\\
~~Pridvornye damy. Vashe velichestvo!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Molchat{p1}! U kogo est{p1} spichki?\\
~~Khristian. Vashe velichestvo ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. Molchat{p1}! U vas est{p1} spichki?\\
~~Khristian. Da, vashe ve ...\\
~~Korol{p1}. Molchat{p1}! Dava\u{i}te ikh syuda.\\
~~Khristian. No zachem, vashe velichestvo?\\
~~Korol{p1}. Molchat{p1}!\\
~~Khristian. Ne skazhete -- ne dam spichek, vashe ...\\
~~Koro{p1}. Molchat{p1}! Spichki mne nuzhny, chtoby
zazhech{p1} koster, na kotorom ya sozhgu pridvornykh dam. Ya uzhe
sobral v kustakh khvorostu.\\
~~Khristian. Pozhalu\u{i}sta, vashe velichestvo, vot spichki.\\
(Pridvornye damy padayut v obmorok.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. Kako\u{i} uzhas! Moya doch{p1} tseluet$\!\,$sya so svinopasom!
Zachem ty {e1}to sdelala?\\
~~Printsessa. Tak mne zakhotelos{p1}.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Zakhotelos{p1} tselovat{p1}sya?\\
~~Printsessa. Da.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Pozhalu\u{i}sta! Zavtra zhe ya otdam tebya zamuzh
za sosednego korolya.\\
~~Printsessa. Ni za chto!\\
~~Korol{p1}. A kto tebya sprashivaet!\\
~~Printsessa. Ya emu vyshiplyu vsyu borodu!\\
~~Korol{p1}. On brity\u{i}.\\
~~Printsessa. Ya emu vyderu vse volosy!\\
~~Korol{p1}. On lysy\u{i}.\\
~~Printsessa. Togda ya emu vyb{p1}yu zuby!\\
~~Korol{p1}. U nego net zubov. U nego iskusstvennye
zuby.\\
~~Printsessa. I vot za {e1}tu bezzubuyu razvalinu ty
otdaesh{p1} menya zamuzh!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ne s zubami zhit{p1}, a s chelovekom. {E1}kh vy,
damy! (Oglushitel{p1}no.) Vstat{p1}!\\
(Damy vstayut.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. Khrosho! Ochen{p1} khorosho! Tol{p1}ko potomu chto ya
zaderzhalsya, ne mog srazu na\u{i}ti angli\u{i}skikh bulavok, chtoby
podkolot{p1} mantiyu, vy tut ustroili orgiyu! Net, vas malo tol{p1}ko
szhech{p1} na kostre! Ya vas snachala sozhgu i potom otrublyu
vam golovy, a potom poveshu vas svekh na bol{p1}sho\u{i} doroge.\\
(Damy plachut.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ne revet{p1}! Net, {e1}togo malo! Ya pridumal: ya vas ne
sozhgu i ne poveshu. Ya vas ostavlyu v zhivykh i budu vas
vsyu zhizn{p1} rugat{p1}, rugat{p1}, pilit{p1}, pilit{p1}. Aga!
S{p2}edi!\\
(Damy plachut.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. A krome togo, ya lishu vas zhalovan{p1}ya!\\
(Damy padayut v obmorok.)\\
~~Korol{p1}. Vstat{p1}! A tebya, svinopas, i tvoego druga ya vyshlyu iz
predelov strany. Ty ne slishkom vinovat. Printsessa
de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no takaya chudnen{p1}kaya, chto ne vlyubit{p1}sya
trudno. Gde kotelok? Kotelok ya zaberu sebe. (Khvataet kotelok.)\\
~~Kotelok (nachinaet pet{p1}).\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya khozhu-brozhu po svetu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Polon ya ognya.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya vlyubilsya v Genriettu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~A ona v menya.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Shire stepi, vyshe lesa\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya tebya lyublyu.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Nikomu tebya, printsessa,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya ne ustuplyu.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Zavoyuem schast{p1}e s boyu\\
~~~~~~~~~~I po\u{i}dem domo\u{i}.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ty i ya, da my s toboyu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Drug mo\u{i} dorogo\u{i}.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Vesel ya brozhu po svetu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Polon ya ognya.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya vlyubilsya v Genriettu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~A ona v menya.\\
~~Korol{p1}. {E1}to kotelok poet?\\
~~Genrikh. Da, vashe velichestvo.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Poet on khorosho, no slova vozmutitel{p1}nye.
On utverzhdaet, chto ty vse ravno zhenish{p1}sya na printsesse?\\
~~Genrikh. Da, ya vse ravno zhenyus{p1} na printsesse, vashe
velichestvo.\\
~~Printsessa. Pravil{p1}no, pravil{p1}no!\\
~~Korol{p1} (pridvornym damam). Uvedite ee.\\
~~Printsessa. Do svidan{p1}ya, Genrikh. Ya tebya lyublyu.\\
~~GEnrikh. Ne bespoko\u{i}sya, printsessa, ya na tebe zhenyus{p1}.\\
~~Printsessa. Da, pozhalu\u{i}sta, Genrikh, bud{p1} tak dobr.
Do svidan{p1}ya, do svidan{p1}ya!\\
(Ee uvodyat.)\\
~~Genrikh. Do svidan{p1}ya, do svidan{p1}ya!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Genrikh!\\
~~Genrikh. Do svidan{p1}ya, do svidan{p1}ya!\\
~~Korol{p1}. {E1}\u{i}, ty, slusha\u{i}!\\
~~Genrikh. Do svidan{p1}ya, do svidan{p1}ya!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ya tebe govoryu. (Povorachivaet ego litsom
k sebe.) Tvo\u{i} kotelok poet tol{p1}ko odnu pesnyu?\\
~~Genrikh. Da, tol{p1}ko odnu.\\
~~Korol{p1}. A tako\u{i} pesni u nego netu?
(Poet drebezzhashchim golosom.) Nichego u tebya ne vy\u{i}det,
poshel von.\\
~~Genrikh. Tako\u{i} pesni u nego net i ne mozhet byt{p1}.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ty menya ne serdi, -- ty videl, kak ya byvayu
grozen?\\
~~Genrikh. Videl.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Drozhal?\\
~~Genrikh. Net.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Nu to-to!\\
~~Genrikh. Poshcha\u{i}{ korol{p1}.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Ty kuda?\\
~~Genrikh. Po\u{i}du k sosednemu korolyu. On durak, i ya
ego tak obo\u{i}du, chto luchshe i ne nado. Smele\u{i} menya net
cheloveka. ~~~Ya potseloval tvoyu doch{p1} i teper{p1} nichego ne
boyus{p1}! Proshcha\u{i}!\\
~~Korol{p1}. Pogodi. Nado zhe mne pereschitat{p1} svine\u{i}.
Raz, dva, tri, pyatnatdtsat{p1}, dvadtsat{p1}... Tak. Vse.
Stupa\u{i}!\\
~~Genrikh. Proshcha\u{i}, korol{p1}. Idem, Khristian.\\
(Ukhodyat s peniem:)\\
~~~~~~~~~~Shire stepi, vyshe lesa\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya tebya lyublyu.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Nikomu tebya, printsessa,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya ne ustuplyu.\\
~~Korol{p1}. Chuvstvuyu ya -- zavarit$\!\,$sya kasha. Nu da ya tozhe
ne durak. Ya vypishu dochke inostrannuyu guvernantku,
zlobnuyu, kak sobaka. S ne\u{i} ona i poedet. I kamergera,
s ne\u{i} poshlyu. A pridvornykh dam ne poshlyu. Ostavlyu
sebe. Ish{p1} ty, shagayut, poyut! Shaga\u{i}te, shaga\u{i}te, nichego
u vas ne vy\u{i}det!\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Zanaves)\\
\\
(Pered zanavesom poyavlyaet$\!\,$sya ministr nezhnykh chuvstv.)\\
~~Ministr nezhnykh chuvstv. Ya ministr nezhnykh chuvstv
ego velichestva korolya. U menya teper{p1} uzhasno mnogo
raboty -- mo\u{i} korol{p1} zhenit$\!\,$sya na sosedne\u{i} printsesse.
Ya vyekhal syuda, chtoby, vo-pervykh, ustroit{p1} vstrechu
printsessy s neobkhodimo\u{i} torzhestvennost{p1}yu. A vo-vtorykh i
v-tret{p1}ikh, chtoby reshit{p1} vse delikatnye zadachi. Delo v
tom, chto moemu vsemilostive\u{i}shemu povelitelyu prishla v
golovu uzhasnaya mysl{p1}. Zhandarmy!\\
(Vkhodyat dva borodatykh zandarma.)\\
~~Zhandarmy (khorom). Chto ugodno vashemu prevoskhoditel{p1}stvu?\\
~~Ministr. Sledite, chtoby menya ne podslushali. Ya
se\u{i}chas budu govorit{p1} o sekretnykh delakh gosudarstvenno\u{i}
vazhnosti.\\
~~Zhandarmy (khorom). Slushayu-s, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo!\\
(Raskhodyat$\!\,$sya v raznye storony. Stanovyat$\!\,$sya u portalov.)\\
~~Ministr (ponizniv golos). Itak, moemu povelitelyu
v proshly\u{i} vtornik za zavtrakom prishla v golovu uzhasnaya
mysl{p1}. On kak raz el kolbasu -- i vdrug zamer s
kuskom pishchi v zubakh. My kinulis{p1} k nemu, vosklitsaya;
"Vashe velichestvo! Chego {e1}to vy!" No on tol{p1}ko stonal
glukho, ne raznimaya zubov: "Kakaya uzhasnaya mysl{p1}! Uzhas!
Uzhas!" Pridvorny\u{i} vrach privel korolya v chuvstvo, i my
uznali, chto imenno ikh velichestvo imelo chest{p1} vzvolnovat{p1}.
Mysl{p1} de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no uzhasnaya. Zhandarmy!\\
~~Zhandarmy (khorom). Chto ugodno vashemu prevoskhoditel{p1}stvu?\\
~~Ministr. Zatknite ushi.\\
~~Zhandarmy (khorom). Slushayu-s, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo!
(Zatykayut ushi.)\\
~~Ministr. Korol{p1} podumal: a vdrug mamasha ikh vysochestva,
mamasha narechenno\u{i} nevesty korolya, byla v svoe
vremya (shepotom) shalun{p1}ya! Vdrug printsessa ne doch{p1} korolya,
a devitsa neizvestnogo proiskhozhdeniya? Vot pervaya
zadacha, kotoruyu ya dolzhen razreshit{p1}. Vtoraya takova.
Ego velichestvo kupalsya, byl vesel, izvolil khikhikat{p1} i
govoril igrivye slova. I vdrug korol{p1}, vosklitsaya:
"Vtoraya uzhasnaya mysl{p1}!", na melkom meste poshel ko dnu.
Okazyvaet$\!\,$sya, korol{p1} podumal: a vdrug printsessa do sgovora
(shepotom) tozhe byla shalun{p1}ya, imela svoi pokhozhdeniya,
i ... nu slovom, vy ponimaete! My spasli korolya, i
on tut zhe v more otdal mne neobkhodimye rasporyazheniya.
Ya priekhal syuda uznat{p1} vsyu pravdu o proiskhozhdenii
i povedenii printsessy i -- klyanus{p1} svoe\u{i} rytsarsko\u{i}
chest{p1}yu -- ya uznayu o ee vysochestve vsyu podnogotnuyu.
Zhandarmy! Zhandarmy! Da chto vy, oglokhli? Zhandarmy!
Akh da! Ved{p1} ya prikazal im zatknut{p1} ushi. Kakova distsiplina!
Korol{p1} razoslal po vsem derevnyam na puti
printsessy luchshikh zhandarmov korolevstva. Oni uchat naselenie
vostorzhennym vstrecham. Otbornye molodtsy.\\
(Podkhodit k zhandarmam, opuskaet im ruki.) Zhandarmy!\\
~~Zhandarmy. Chto ugodno vashemu prevoskhditel{p1}stvu?\\
~~Ministr. Podite vzglyanite, ne edet li printsessa.\\
~~Zhandarmy. Slushayu-s, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo!\\
(Ukhodyat.)\\
~~Ministr. Trudnye u menya zadachi. Ne pravda li?
No ya znayu sovershenno tochno, kak ikh reshit{p1}. Mne pomogut
odna malen{p1}kaya goroshina i dvenadtsat{p1} butylok otbornogo
vina. Ya ochen{p1} lovki\u{i} chelovek.\\
(Vkhodyat zhandarmy.)\\
~~Ministr. Nu?\\
~~Zhandarmy. Vashe prevoskhditel{p1}stvo. Daleko-daleko,
tam, gde nebo kak by slivaet$\!\,$sya s zemle\u{i}, v{p1}et$\!\,$sya
nad kholmom vysoki\u{i} stolb pyli. V nem to alebarda sverknet,
to pokazhet$\!\,$sya konskaya golova, to mel{p1}knet zoloto\u{i}
gerb. {E1}to printsessa edet k nam, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo.\\
~~Ministr. Po\u{i}dem posmotrim, vse li gotovo k vstreche. \\
(Ukhodyat.)\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Zanaves)\\
\\
(Pologie kholmy pokryty vinogradnikami. Na perednem
plane -- gostinitsa. Dvukh{e1}tazhny\u{i} domik. Stoly stoyat vo
dvore gostinitsy. M{e1}r derevushki mechet$\!\,$sya po dvoru vmeste
s devushkami i parnyami. Kriki: "Edet! edet!".
Vkhodit ministr nezhnykh chuvstv.)\\
~~Ministr. M{e1}r! Perestan{p1}te suetit{p1}sya. Podite syuda.\\
~~M{e1}r. Ya? Da. Vot on. Chto? Net.\\
~~Ministr. Prigotov{p1}te dvenadtsat{p1} butylok samogo
krepkogo vina.\\
~~M{e1}r. Chto? Butylok? Zachem?\\
~~Ministr. Nuzhno.\\
~~M{e1}r. Aga ... Ponyal ... Dlya vstrechi printsessy?\\
~~Ministr. Da.\\
~~M{e1}r. Ona p{p1}yanitsa?\\
~~Ministr. Vy s uma soshli! Butylki nuzhny dlya uzhina,
kotory\u{i} vy podadite sputnikam printsessy.\\
~~M{e1}r. Akh, sputnikam. {E1}to priyatnee ... Da-da ... Net-net.\\
~~Ministr (Khokhochet. V storony). Kak glup! Ya ochen{p1} lyublyu
glupykh lyude\u{i}, oni takie poteshnye. (M{e1}ru.) Prigotov{p1}te
butylki, prigotov{p1}te porosyat, prigotov{p1}te
medvezh{p1}i okoroka.\\
~~M{e1}r. Akh tak. Net ... To est{p1} da. {E1}\u{i} vy, voz{p1}mite
klyuchi ot pogreba! Da\u{i}te syuda klyuchi ot cherdaka!\\
(Bezhit.)\\
~~Ministr. Muzykanty!\\
~~Dirizher. Zdes{p1}, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo!\\
~~Ministr. U vas vse v poryadke?\\
~~Dirizher. Pervaya skripka, vashe prevoskhodite{p1}stvo,
naelas{p1} vinogradu i legla na solnyshke. Vinogradny\u{i}
sok, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo, stal brodit{p1} v zhivotike
pervo\u{i} skripki i prevratilsya v vino. My ikh budim,
budim, a oni brykayut$\!\,$sya i spyat.\\
~~Ministr. Bezobrazie! Chto zhe delat{p1}?\\
~~Dirizher. Vse ustroeno, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo.
Na pervo\u{i} skripke budet igrat{p1} vtoraya, a na vtoro\u{i}
kontrabas. My privyazali skripku k zherdi, kontrabas
postavit ee kak kontrabas, i vse budet bolee chem prekrasno.\\
~~Ministr. A kto budet igrat{p1} na kontrabase?\\
~~Dirizher. Akh, kako\u{i} uzhas! Ob {e1}tom ya i ne podumal!\\
~~Ministr. Postav{p1}te kontrabas v seredinu. Pust{p1} ego
khvatayut i pilyat na nem vse, u kogo okazhut$\!\,$sya svobodnymi
ruki.\\
~~Dirizher. Slushayu, vashe prevsokhditel{p1}stvo. (Ubegaet.)\\
~~Ministr. Akh kako\u{i} ya umny\u{i}, kako\u{i} lovki\u{i}, kako\u{i}
nakhodichivy\u{i} chelovek!\\
(Vkhodyat dva zhandarma.)\\
~~Zhandarmy. Vashe prevsokhoditel{p1}stvo, kareta
printsessy v{p2}ekhala v derevnyu!\\
~~Ministr. Vnimanie! Orkestr! M{e1}r! Devushki! Narod!
Zhandarmy! Sledite, chtoby parni brosali shapki
povyshe!\\
(Za zaborom pokazyvaet$\!\,$sya verkhushka karety s chemodanami.
Ministr brosaet$\!\,$sya v vorota k karete. Orkestr igraet.
Zhandarmy krichat "Ura". Shapki letyat vverkh. Vkhodyat
printsessa, kamerger, gubernantka.)\\
~~Ministr. Vashe vysochestvo ... Volnenie, kotoroe vyzval vash
priezd v {e1}to\u{i} skromno\u{i} derevushke, nichtozhno po sravneniyu
s tem, chto delaet$\!\,$sya v serdtse moego vlyublennogo
povelitelya. No tem ne menee ... \\
~~Printsessa. Dovol{p1}no ... Kamerger! Gde moi nosovye platki?\\
~~Kamerger. {E1}kh! Ukh! Okho-kho! Se\u{i}chas, vashe vysochestvo,
ya voz{p1}mu sebya v ruki i sproshu u guvernantki.
M-m-y. (Rychit. Uspokaivaet$\!\,$sya.) Gospozha guvernantka, gde platki nashe\u{i}
printsessy lezhat{p1} sebya imeyut byt{p1}?\\
~~Guvernantka. Platki imeyut byt{p1} lezhat{p1} sebya v
chemodane, gotentotenpotentatertanteatenter.\\
~~Kamerger. Oder. (Rychit.) Platki v chemodane, printsessa.\\
~~Printsessa. Dostan{p1}te. Vy vidite, chto mne khocht$\!\,$sya
plakat{p1}. Dostan{p1}te platki. I prinesite.\\
(Nosut chemodany.)\\
~~Printsessa. I prikazhite prigotovit{p1} mne postel{p1}. Skoro stemneet.
(V storonu.) A ya uzhasno ustala. Pyl{p1}, zhara, ukhaby!
Skoree, skoree spat{p1}! Ya vo sne uvizhu moego dorogogo
Genrikha. Mne tak nadoeli {e1}ti sovershenno chuzhie obez{p1}yany.
(Ukhodit v gostinitsu.)\\
(Kamerger roet$\!\,$sya v chemodane.)\\
~~Ministr. Neuzheli printsessa ne budet uzhinat{p1}?\\
~~Kamerger (rychit.) {E1}kh, ukh, okho-kho! Net! Ona vot
uzhe tri nedeli nechego ne est. Ona tak vzvolnovana
predstoyashchim brakom.\\
~~Guvernantka (nabrasyvaet$\!\,$sya na ministra nezhnykh
chuvstv). Vyn{p1}te svoi ruki karmanov iz! {E1}to neprilichno
est{p1} imet{p1} sut{p1}! Entveder!\\
~~Ministr. Chego khochet ot menya {e1}ta gospozha?\\
~~Kamerger (rychit.) O-o-o-u! (Uspokaivaet$\!\,$sya. Guvernantke.)
Voz{p1}mite sebya v svoi ruki, ankor. {E1}to ne
est{p1} vash vospitannik ne. (Ministru.) Prostite, vy ne
govorite na inostrannykh yazykakh?\\
~~Ministr. Net. S tekh por kak ego velichestvo ob{p2}yavil,
chto nasha natsiya est{p1} vysshaya v mire, nam prikazano
nachisto zabyt{p1} inostrannykh yazyki.\\
~~Kamerger. {E1}ta gospozha -- inostrannaya guvernantka,
samaya zlaya v mire. E\u{i} vsyu
zhizn{p1} prikhodilos{p1} vospityvat{p1} plokhikh
dete\u{i}, i ona ochen{p1} ot {e1}togo ozhestochilas{p1}.
Ona nabrasyvaet$\!\,$sya teper{p1} na vsekh vstrechnykh i vospityvaet
ikh.\\
~~Guvernantka (nabrasyvaet$\!\,$sya na kamergera). Ne cheshite sebya.
Ne!\\
~~Kamerger. Vidite? Uou! Ona zapreshchaet mne chesat{p1}sya,
khotya ya vovse ne cheshus{p1}, a tol{p1}ko popravlyayu manzhety.
(Rychit.)\\
~~Ministr. Chto s vami, gospodin kamerger, vy prostuzheny?\\
~~Kamerger. Net. Prosto ya uzhe nedelyu ne byl na okhote.
Ya perepolnen krovozhadnymi myslyami. U-lyu-lyu! Korol{p1} znaet,
chto ya bez okhoty delayus{p1} zverem, i vot on
poslal menya soprovozhdat{p1} printsessu. Prostite, gospodin
ministr, ya dolzhen vzglyanut{p1}, chto delaet printsessa.
(Revet). Atu ego! (Uspokaivaet$\!\,$sya.) Gospozha guvernantka,
naprav{p1}te svoi nogi na. Printsessa davno nadzora
bez nakhodit sebya.\\
~~Guvernantka. Khotim my idti. (Idet. Na khodu ministru.)
Dyshat{p1} nado nos cherez! Plokho\u{i} mal{p1}chishka ty
est{p1}, ani, bani, tri kontory!\\
(Ukhodit s kamergerom.)\\
~~Ministr. Chrezvycha\u{i}no podozritel{p1}no! Zachem korol{p1}-otets
poslal takikh svirepykh lyude\u{i} soprovozhdat{p1} printsessu?
{E1}to nesprosta. No ya vse uznayu! Vse! Dvenadtsat{p1} butylok
krepkogo vina zastavyat {e1}tu svirepuyu strazhu
razboltat{p1} vse. Vse! Akh, kak ya umen, lovok, nakhodchiv,
soobrazitelen! Ne pro\u{i}det i dvukh chasov, kak
proshloe printsessy budet u menya vot tut, na ladoni.\\
(Idut dvenadtsat{p1} devushek s perinami. U kazhdo\u{i} devushki
po dve periny.)\\
~~Ministr. Aga! Se\u{i}chas my za\u{i}memsya goroshino\u{i}. (Pervo\u{i}
devushke.) Dorogaya krasavitsa, na dva slova.\\
(Devushka ego tolkaet v bok. Ministr otskakivaet. Podkhodit ko
vtoro\u{i}.)\\
~~Ministr. Dorogaya krasotka, na dva slova.\\
(S {e1}to\u{i} devushko\u{i} proiskhodit to zhe samoe. Vse
dvenadtsat{p1} devushek ottalkivayut ministra i skryvayut$\!\,$sya v
gostinitsu.)\\
~~Ministr (Potiraya boka.) Kakie grubye, kakie nedelikatnye
devushki. Kak zhe byt{p1} s goroshino\u{i}, chert poberi!
Zhandarmy!\\
(Zhandarmy podkhodyat k ministru.)\\
~~Zhandarmy. Chto ugodno vashemu prevoskhoditel{p1}stvu?\\
~~Ministr. M{e1}ra.\\
~~Zhandarmy. Slushayu-s, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo!\\
~~Ministr. Pridet$\!\,$sya posvyatit{p1} v delo {e1}togo duraka.
Bol{p1}she nekogo.\\
(Zhandarmy privodyat m{e1}ra.)\\
~~Ministr. Zhandarmy, stan{p1}te okolo i sledite, chtoby nas ne podslushali.
Ya budu govorit{p1} s m{e1}rom o sekretnykh delakh
gosudarstvenno\u{i} vazhnosti.\\
~~Zhandarmy. Slushayu-s, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo!\\
(Stanovyat$\!\,$sya vozle m{e1}ra i ministra.)\\
~~Ministr. M{e1}r. Vashi devushki ...\\
~~M{e1}r. Aga, ponimayu. Da. I vas tozhe?\\
~~Ministr. Chto?\\
~~M{e1}r. Devushki nashi ... Vy bok potiraete. Aga. Da.\\
~~Ministr. Chto vy boltaete?\\
~~M{e1}r. Vy pristavali k devushkam, oni vas tolkali.
Da. Znayu po sebe. Sam kholosto\u{i}.\\
~~Ministr. Posto\u{i}te!\\
~~M{e1}r. Net. Lyubyat oni, da-da. Tol{p1}ko molodykh.
Smeshnye devushki. Ya ikh lyublyu ... Nu-nu ... A oni
net. Menya net ... Vas tozhe. Ne mogu pomoch{p1}.\\
~~Ministr. Dovol{p1}no! Ya ne za {e1}timi vas zval. Vashi
devushki ne ponyali menya. Ya im khotel poruchit{p1} sekretnoe
delo gosudarstvenno\u{i} vazhnosti. Pridet$\!\,$sya {e1}to delo
vypolnit{p1} vam.\\
~~M{e1}r. Aga. Nu-nu. Da-da.\\
~~Ministr. Vam pridet$\!\,$sya zabrat{p1}sya v spal{p1}nyu printsessy.\\
~~M{e1}r (khokhocht). Akh ty ... Vot ved{p1} ... Priyatno ... No
net ... Ya chestny\u{i}.\\
~~Ministr. Vy menya ne ponyali. Vam pridet$\!\,$sya vo\u{i}ti
tuda na sekundu, posle togo kak devushki postelyat periny
dlya ee vysochestva. I pod vse dvadtsat{p1} chetyre
periny na doski krovati polozhit{p1} {e1}tu malen{p1}kuyu
goroshinu. Vot i vse.\\
~~M{e1}r. Zachem?\\
~~Ministr. Ne vashe delo! Berite goroshinu i stupa\u{i}te!\\
~~M{e1}r. Ne po\u{i}du. Da ... Ni za chto.\\
~~Ministr. Pochemu?\\
~~M{e1}r. {E1}to delo neladnoe. Ya chestny\u{i}. Da-da. Net-net!
Da-da!\\
~~Ministr. Akh, chert, kako\u{i} durak! Nu khorosho, ya vam
vse skazhu. No pomnite, chto {e1}to sekretnoe delo gosudarstvenno\u{i}
vazhnosti. Korol{p1} prikazal uznat{p1} mne, de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no
li printsessa blagorodnogo proiskhozhdeniya.
Vdrug ona ne doch{p1} korolya!\\
~~M{e1}r. Doch{p1}. Ona ochen{p1} pokhozha na ottsa. Da-da.\\
~~Ministr. {E1}to nichego ne znachit. Vy ne mozhete sebe
predstavit{p1}, kak khitry zhenshchiny. Tochny\u{i} otvet nam
mozhet dat{p1} tol{p1}ko {e1}ta goroshina. Lyudi de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no
korolevskogo proiskhozhdeniya otlichayut$\!\,$sya neobycha\u{i}no
chuvstvitel{p1}no\u{i} i nezhno\u{i} kozhe\u{i}. Printsessa, esli ona
nastoyashchaya printsessa, pochuvstvuet {e1}tu goroshinu cherez vse
dvadtsat{p1} chetyre periny. Ona ne budet spat{p1} vsyu noch{p1} i
zavtra pozhaluet$\!\,$sya mne na {e1}to. A budet spat{p1}, znachit, delo
plokho. Ponyali? Stupa\u{i}te!\\
~~M{e1}r. Aga ... (beret goroshinu.) Nu-nu ... Mne
samomu interesno ... Tak pokhozha na ottsa -- i vdrug ...
Pravda, u ottsa boroda ... No rotik ... Nosik ...\\
~~Ministr. Stupa\u{i}te!\\
~~M{e1}r. Glazki.\\
~~M{e1}r. Idite, vam govoryat!\\
~~M{e1}r. Lobik.\\
~~Ministr. Da ne terya\u{i}te vremeni, vy, bolvan!\\
~~M{e1}r. Idu, idu! I figura u nee, v obshchem, ochen{p1} pokhozha
na ottsa. A\u{i}, a\u{i}, a\u{i}! (Ukhodit.)\\
~~Ministr. Slava bogu!\\
~~M{e1}r (vozvrashchaet$\!\,$sya). I shchechki.\\
~~Ministr. Ya vas zarezhu!\\
~~M{e1}r. Idu, idu. (Ukhodit.)\\
~~Ministr. Nu-s, vopros o proiskhozhdenii ya vyyasnyu!
Teper{p1} ostaet$\!\,$sya tol{p1}ko pozvat{p1} kamergera i guvernantku,
podpoit{p1} ikh i vyvedat{p1} vsyu podnogotnuyu o povedenii
printsessy.\\
(S vizgom probegayut devushki, kotorye otnosili periny.
Za nimi, potiraya bok, vykhodit kamerger.)\\
~~Ministr. Gospodin kamerger, ya vizhu po dvizheniyam vashikh ruk, chto
vy probovali besedovat{p1} s {e1}timi devushkami.\\
~~Kamerger. Pookhotilsya nemnogo ... (Rychit.) Brykayut$\!\,$sya i bodayut$\!\,$sya,
kak dikie kozy. Dury!\\
~~Ministr. Gospodin Kamerger, kogda vas ogorchaet
zhenshchina, to uteshaet vino.\\
~~Kamerger. Nichego podobnogo. Ya, kak vyp{p1}yu, se\u{i}chas
zhe nachinayu toskovat{p1} po zhenshchinam.\\
~~Ministr. {E1}, vse ravno! Vyp{p1}em, kamerger! Skoro
svad{p1}ba! Zdes{p1} prekrasnoe vino, veselyashchee vino.
Posidim nochku! A?\\
~~Kamerger (rychit). Okh kak khochet$\!\,$sya posidet{p1}! U-lyu-lyu!
No net, ne mogu! Ya dal klyatvu korolyu: kak
tol{p1}ko printsessa lyazhet spat{p1} -- se\u{i}chas zhe lozhit{p1}sya
u ee dveri i storozhit{p1} ee ne smykaya glaz. Ya u dvere\u{i},
guvernantka u krovati, -- tak i storozhim tseluyu noch{p1}.
Ot$\!\,$sypaemsya v karete. Atu ego!\\
~~Ministr (v storonu). Ochen{p1} podozritel{p1}no! Nado
ego vo chto by to ni stalo podpoit{p1}. Gospodin kamerger.\\
(Vizg i krik naverkhu, grokhot na lestnitse. Vryvaet$\!\,$sya
m{e1}r, za nim raz{p2}yarennaya guvernantka.)\\
~~M{e1}r. O\u{i}, spasite, s{p2}est! O\u{i}, spasite, ub{p1}et!\\
~~Kamerger. Chto sluchilos{p1} entveder-oder, aber?\\
~~Guvernantka. {E1}tot stary\u{i} khurda-murda v spal{p1}nyu
printsessy vo\u{i}ti imel sut{p1}! A ya emu imeyu otkusit{p1} bashku,
gotentotenpotentatertanteatenanteter!\\
~~Kamerger. {E1}tot naglets zalez v spal{p1}nyu printsessy.
Atu ego!\\
~~Ministr. S$\!\,$to\u{i}te. Se\u{i}chas ya vse vam ob{p2}yasnyu. Podite
syuda, m{e1}r! (Tikho.) Polozhili goroshinu?\\
~~M{e1}r. Okh, polozhil ... Da ... Ona shchiplet$\!\,$sya.\\
~~Ministr. Kto?\\
~~M{e1}r. Guvernantka. Ya goroshinu polozhil ... Vot ...
Smotryu na printsessu ... Udivlyayus{p1}, kak pokhozha na
ottsa ... Nosik, rotik ... Vdrug ... kak prygnet ...
Ona ... Guvernantka.\\
~~Ministr. Ctupa\u{i}te. (Kamergeru.) Ya vse vyyasnil.
M{e1}r khotel tol{p1}ko uznat{p1}, ne mozhet li on eshche
chem-nibud{p1} pomoch{p1} printsesse. M{e1}r predlagaet
zagladit{p1} svo\u{i} postupok dvenadtsat{p1}yu butylkami
krepkogo vina.\\
~~Kamerger. U-lyu-lyu!\\
~~Ministr. Slusha\u{i}te, kamerger! Bros{p1}te, e\u{i}-bogu,
a? Chego tam! Granitsu vy uzhe pereekhali! Korol{p1}-otets
nichego ne uznaet. Dava\u{i}te pokutim! I guvernantku
pozovem. Vot zdes{p1} na stolike, chestnoe slovo, e\u{i}-bogu,
klyanus{p1} chest{p1}yu! A naverkh ya poshlyu dvukh {e1}tikh
molodtsov zhandarmov. Samye vernye, samye otbornye vo vsem
korolevstve sobaki. Nikogo oni ne propustyat ni k printsesse,
ni obratno. A, kamerger? U-lyu-lyu?\\
~~Kamerger (guvernantke). Predlagayut na stolikakh
shnaps trinken. Naverkh dvukh zhandarmov oni poslat{p1} imeyut.
Zhandarmy vrode sobak gumti-dumti doberman-boberman.
Zlee nas. Una duna res?\\
~~Guvernantka. Lestnitsa tut odin?\\
~~Kamerger. Odin.\\
~~Guvernantka. Kvinter, baba, zhes.\\
~~Kamerger (ministru). Nu ladno, vyp{p1}em! Posyla\u{i}te
zhandarmov.\\
~~Ministr. Zhandarmy! Otpravlya\u{i}tes{p1} naverkh, stan{p1}te
u dveri printsessy i storozhite. Rys{p1}yu!\\
~~Zhandarmy. Slushayu-s, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo! (Ubegayut
naverkh.)\\
~~Ministr. M{e1}r! Nesi vino, medvezh{p1}i okoroka, kolbasy.
(Khokhochet. V storonu.) Se\u{i}chas vyvedayu
vsyu podnogotnuyu! Kako\u{i} ya umny\u{i}! Kakok\u{i} ya lovki\u{i}!
Kako\u{i} ya molodets!\\
(Svet vnizu gasnet. Otkryvaet$\!\,$sya vtoro\u{i} {e1}tazh. Komanata
printsessy. Printsessa v nochnom chepchike lezhit vysoko na
dvadtsati chetyrekh perinakh.)\\
~~Printsessa (napevaet). \\
~~~~~~~~~~Shire stepi, vyshe lesa\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya tebya lyublyu.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Nikomu tebya, printsessa,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya ne ustuplyu.\\
Nu chto {e1}to takoe? Kazhdy\u{i} vecher ya tak khorosho zasypala
pod {e1}tu pesenku? Spoyu -- i srazu mne delaet$\!\,$sya spoko\u{i}no.
Srazu ya veryu, chto Genrikh de\u{i}stvitel{p1}no ne ustupit menya
{e1}tomu staromu i tolstomu korolyu. I prikhodit son. I
vo sne Genrikh. A segodnya nichego ne poluchaet$\!\,$sya. Chto-to
tak i vpivaet$\!\,$sya v telo cherez vse dvadtsat{p1} chetyre
periny i ne daet spat{p1}. Ili v pukh popalo pero, ili
v doskakh krovati est{p1} suchok. Navernoe, ya vsya v sinyakakh.
Akh, kakaya ya neschastnaya printsessa! Smotrela ya
v okno, tam devushki gulyayut so svoimi znakomymi, a ya
lezhu i propadayu naprasno! Ya segodnya napisala na zapisochke, chto
sprosit{p1} u Genrikha, kogda ya ego uvizhu vo
sne. A to ya vse vremya zabyvayu. Vot zapisochka ...
Vo-pervykh, lyubil li on drugikh devushek, poka ne vstretilsya
so mno\u{i}? Vo-vtorykh, kogda on zametil, chto v
menya vlyubilsya? V-tret{p1}ikh, kogda on zametil, chto ya v
nego vlyubilas{p1}? Ya vsyu dorogu ob {e1}tom dumala. Ved{p1} my
tol{p1}ko odin raz uspeli potselovat{p1}sya -- i nas razluchili!
I pogovorit{p1} ne prishlos{p1}. Prikhodit$\!\,$sya vo sne
razgovarivat{p1}. A son ne idet. Chto-to tak i perekatyvaet$\!\,$sya
pod perinami. Uzhasno ya neschastnaya! Poprobuyu
eshche raz spet{p1}. (Poet.)\\
~~~~~~~~~~Vesel ya brozhu po svetu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Polon ya ognya.\\
(Dva muzhskikh golosa podkhvatyvayut:)\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya vlyubilsya v Genriettu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~A ona v menya.\\
~~Printsessa. Chto {e1}to? Mozhet byt{p1}, ya uzhe vizhu son?\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Du{e1}t\\
~~~~~~~~~~Shire stepi, vyshe lesa\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya tebya lyublyu.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Nikomu tebya, printsessa,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya ne ustuplyu.\\
~~Printsessa. Akh, kak interesno! I neponyatno, i
strashno, i priyatno.\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Du{e1}t\\
~~~~~~~~~~Zavoyuem schast{p1}e s boyu\\
~~~~~~~~~~I po\u{i}dem domo\u{i}.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ty i ya, da my s toboyu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Drug mo\u{i} dorogo\u{i}.\\
~~Printsessa. Ya se\u{i}chas slezu i vyglyanu. Zavernus{p1} v
odeyalo i vzglyanu. (Slezaet s perin.)\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Du{e1}t\\
~~~~~~~~~~Vesel ya brozhu po svetu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Polon ya ognya.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya vlyubilsya v Genriettu,\\
~~~~~~~~~~A ona v menya.\\
~~Printsessa. Gde moi tufli? Vot oni! Neuzheli za
dver{p1}yu ...\\
(Raspakhivaet dver{p1}. Tam dva zhandarma.)\\
~~Printsessa. Kto vy?\\
~~Zhandarmy. My zhandarmy ego velichestva korolya.\\
~~Printsessa. Chto vy zdes{p1} delaete?\\
~~Zhandarmy. My storozhim vashe vysochestvo.\\
~~Printsessa. A kto {e1}to pel?\\
~~Zhandarmy. {E1}to pel chelovek, kotory\u{i} poklyalsya vo
chto by to ni stalo zhenit{p1}sya na vashe\u{i} milosti. On
polyubil vas naveki za to, chto vy takaya malen{p1}kaya, takaya
dobraya, takaya nezhnaya. On ne khnychet, ne plachet, ne tratit
vremeni po-pustomu. On v{p1}et$\!\,$sya vokrug, chtoby
spasti vas ot proklyatogo zhenikha. On pel, chtoby
napomnit{p1} vas o sebe, a drug ego podpeval emu.\\
~~Printsessa. No gde zhe on?\\
(Zhandarmy molcha, bol{p1}shimi shagami vkhodyat v komnatu
printsesy.)\\
~~Printsessa. Pochemu vy ne otvechaete? Gde Genrikh? Chto vy tak
pechal{p1}no smotrite? Mozhet byt{p1}, vy prishli menya zarezat{p1}?\\
~~Zhandarmy. Dernite nas za borody.\\
~~Printsessa. Za borody?\\
~~Zhandarmy. Da.\\
~~Printsessa. Zachem?\\
~~Zhandarmy. Ne bo\u{i}tes{p1}, derga\u{i}te!\\
~~Printsessa. No ya s vami neznakoma!\\
~~Zhandarmy. Genrikh prosit dernut{p1} nas za borody.\\
~~Printsessa. Nu khorosho! (Dergaet.)\\
~~Zhandarmy. Sil{p1}ne\u{i}!\\
(Printsessa dergaet izo vse\u{i} sily. Borody i usy zhandarmov ostayut$\!\,$sya
u nee v rukakh. Pered neyu Genrikh i Khristian.)\\
~~Printsessa. Genrikh. (Brosaet$\!\,$sya k nemu, ostanavlivaet$\!\,$sya.) No
ya ne odeta ...\\
~~Khristian. Nichego, printsessa, ved{p1} skoro vy budete
ego zheno\u{i}.\\
~~Printsessa. Ya ne potomu, chto {e1}to neprilichno, a ya
ne znayu, khoroshen{p1}kaya ya ili net?\\
~~Genrikh. Genrietta! Ya skoree umru, chem tebya ostavlyu,
takaya ty slavnaya. Ty ne bo\u{i}sya -- my vse vremya edem
za tobo\u{i} sledom. Vchera napoili zhandarmov, svyazali,
spryatali, priekhali. Zapomni: tol{p1}ko ob odnom my i dumaem,
tol{p1}ko odna u nas tsel{p1} i est{p1} -- osvobodit{p1} tebya
i uvezti s sobo\u{i}. Odin raz ne udast$\!\,$sya --my vtoro\u{i} raz
poprobuem. Vtoro\u{i} ne udast$\!\,$sya -- my treti\u{i}. Srazu nichego
ne daet$\!\,$sya. Chtoby udalos{p1}, nado probovat{p1} i segodnya,
i zavtra, i poslezavtra. Ty gotova?\\
~~Printsessa. Da. A skazhi, pozhalu\u{i}sta, Genrikh, ty
lyubil drugikh devushek do menya?\\
~~Gernrikh. Ya ikh vsekh nenavidel!\\
~~Khristian. Bednaya printsessa -- kak ona pokhudela!\\
~~Printsessa. A skazhi, pozhalu\u{i}sta, Genrikh ...\\
~~Khristian. Potom, bednaya printsessa, vy pogovorite
potom. A se\u{i}chas slusha\u{i}te nas.\\
~~Genrikh. My poprobuem bezhat{p1} s tobo\u{i} segodnya.\\
~~Printsessa. Spasibo, Genrikh.\\
~~Genrikh. No {e1}to mozhet nam ne udast{p1}sya.\\
~~Printsessa. Srazu nichego ne daet$\!\,$sya, mily\u{i} Genrikh.\\
~~Genrikh. Voz{p1}mi {e1}tu bumagu.\\
~~Printsessa (Beret). {E1}to ty pisal? (Tseluet bumagu.
Chitaet.) Idi ty k chertovo\u{i} babushke. (Tseluet bumagu.)
Zatknis{p1}, dyryavy\u{i} meshok. (Tseluet.) Chto {e1}to, Genrikh?\\
~~Genrikh. {E1}to, esli begstvo ne udast$\!\,$sya, ty dolzhna
vy$\!\,$uchit{p1} i govorit{p1} svoemu zhenikhu-korolyu. Sama ty plokho
umeesh{p1} rugat{p1}sya. Vy$\!\,$uchi i ruga\u{i} ego kak sleduet.\\
~~Printsessa. S udovol{p1}stviem, Genrikh. (Chitaet.)
Valis{p1} ty k cherty na roga. Ochen{p1} khorosho! (Tseluet
bumagu.)\\
~~Genrikh. Pod tvoimi perinami lezhit goroshina. {E1}to
ona ne davala tebe spat{p1}. Skazhi zavtra, chto ty prekrasno
spala {e1}tu noch{p1}. Togda korol{p1} otkazhet$\!\,$sya ot tebya.
Pominaesh{p1}?\\
~~Printsessa. Nichego ne ponimayu, no skazhu. Kako\u{i} ty
umny\u{i}, Genrikh!\\
~~Genrikh. Esli on ne otkazht$\!\,$sya ot tebya, vse ravno
ne pada\u{i} dukhom. My budem okolo.\\
~~Printsessa. Khorosho, Genrikh. Ya budu spat{p1} khorosho
i na goroshine, esli {e1}to nuzhno. Skol{p1}ko u tebya doma
perin?\\
~~Genrikh. Odnya.\\
~~Printsessa. Ya priuchus{p1} spat{p1} na odno\u{i} perine. A
gde ty budesh{p1} spat{p1}, bednen{p1}ki\u{i}? Vprochem, my ... \\
~~Khristian. Umolyayu vas, molchite, printsessa! Vy tak
nevinny, chto mozhete skazat{p1} sovershenno strashnye veshchi!\\
~~Genrikh. Odeva\u{i}sya, printsessa, i idem. Oni tam vnizu -- sovsem
p{p1}yany. My ubezhim.\\
~~Khristian. A ne ubezhim -- goroshina pomozhet.\\
~~Genrikh. A ne pomozhet -- my budem okolo i vse ravno,
khot{p1}, iz-pod ventsa, a vytashchim tebya. Idem, moya bednaya!\\
~~Printsessa. Vot chto, milen{p1}kie moi druz{p1}ya. Vy ne
rasserdites{p1}, esli ya vas poproshu chto-to?\\
~~Genrikh. Konechno, prosi! Ya vse sdelayu dlya tebya.\\
~~Printsessa. Nu togda, khot{p1} {e1}to i ochen{p1} zaderzhit nas,
no bud{p1} tak dobr -- potselu\u{i} menya.\\
(Genrikh tseluet printsessu.)\\
(Svet naverkhu gasnet. Osveshchaet$\!\,$sya dvor gostinitsy. Za
stolom ministr nezhnykh chuvstv, guvernantka, kamerger.
Vse p{p1}yany, no ministr bol{p1}she vsekh.)\\
~~Ministr. Ya lovki\u{i}, slyshish{p1}, kamerger? Ya do togo
umny\u{i}! Korol{p1} velel: uzna\u{i} potikhon{p1}ku, ne bylo li u
printsessy pokhozhdeni\u{i} ... Ponimaete? Tru-lya-lya!
Delikatno, govorit, vyveda\u{i}! Drugo\u{i} by chto? Sbilsya
by drugo\u{i}! A ya pridumal! Ya tebya napoyu, a ty prolob ...
probar ... probartaesh{p1}sya! Da? Umny\u{i} ya?\\
~~Kamerger. U-lyu-lyu!\\
~~Ministr. Nu da! Nu govori! Ot menya vse ravno ne
skryt{p1}sya. Net! Prolab ... probar ... pror ...
probartyva\u{i}sya. Chto ty mozhesh{p1} skazat{p1} o printsesse?\\
~~Kamerger. My ee gonchimi travili! (Padaet pod stol.
Vylezaet.)\\
~~Ministr. Za chto?\\
~~Kamerger. U nee khvost krasivy\u{i}. U-lyu-lyu!\\
~~Ministr (padaet pod stol. Vylezaet). Khvost? u
nee khvost est{p1}?\\
~~Kamerger. Nu da. Atu ee!\\
~~Ministr. Pochemu khvost?\\
~~Kamerger. Poroda takaya. U-lyu-lyu!\\
~~Ministr. Vsya poroda? I u ottsa ... khvost?\\
~~Kamerger. A kak zhe. I u ottsa.\\
~~Ministr. Znachit, u vas korol{p1} khvostaty?\\
~~Kamerger. {E1}, net! Korol{p1} u nas beskhvosty\u{i}. A u
ottsa ee khvost est{p1}.\\
~~Ministr. Znachit, korol{p1} e\u{i} ne otets?\\
~~Kamerger. Nu konechno!\\
~~Ministr. Ura! (Padaet pod stol. Vylezaet.) Prorab ... probar ... A
kto ee otets?\\
~~Kamerger. Lis. Atu ego!\\
~~Ministr. Kto?\\
~~Kamerger. Lis. U lisitsy otets lis.\\
~~Ministr. U kako\u{i} lisitsy?\\
~~Kamerger. Pro kotoruyu my govorili ... (Tolkaet
guvernantku loktem.)\\
(Oba p{p1}yano khokhochut.)\\
~~Guvernantka. Esli by ty znat{p1} mog gogol{p1}-mogol{p1},
chto ona s svinopasom vzaimno tselovala sebya! Snimi lokti
so stola auf! Ne morga\u{i} ne!\\
~~Kamerger. Atu ego!\\
~~Guvernantka. Ty est{p1} bolvan!\\
~~Ministr. Chto oni govoryat?\\
~~Kamerger. U-lyu-lyu!\\
~~Ministr. Svin{p1}i! {E1}to po-tovar ... ne po-to-varishcheski.
Ya vas pob{p1}yu. (Padaet golovo\u{i} na stol.)
M{e1}r! M{e1}r! Eshche vina. (Zasypaet.)\\
~~Guvernantka. {E1}tot glupy\u{i} bolvan sebe spit! O,
schastlivy\u{i}! Vot tak vot leg i spit. A ya splyu net.
Ya splyu net skol{p1}ko noche\u{i}. Under-munder. (Zasypaet.)\\
~~Kamerger. U-lyu-lyu. Olen{p1}! Olen{p1}! (Bezhit, padaet
i zasypaet.)\\
~~M{e1}r (vkhodit). Vot. Eshche vina. Da-da. Ministr!
Spit. Kamerger! Spit. Gospozha guvernantka! Spit.
Syadu. Da-da. Prosnut$\!\,$sya nebos{p1}. Net-net. (Dremlet.)
(Dver{p1} tikhon{p1}ko priotkryvaet$\!\,$sya. Vykhodit Khristian,
osmatrivaet$\!\,$sya. Podaet znak. Vykhodyat printsessa i Genrikh.
Kradut$\!\,$sya k vykhodu. M{e1}r ikh zamechaet, vskakivaet.)\\
~~M{e1}r. Kuda? ... {E1}to. A ... Zhandarmy ... Pobrilis{p1} ...
Stranno ... Nazad!\\
~~Genrikh. Ya tebya ub{p1}yu!\\
~~M{e1}r. A ya zaoru ... Ya smely\u{i}.\\
~~Khristian. Voz{p1}mi deneg i otpusti nas.\\
~~M{e1}r. {E1}, net! Ya chestny\u{i}. Se\u{i}chas svistnu!\\
~~Printsessa. Da\u{i}te mne skazat{p1}. M{e1}r, pozhale\u{i},
pozhalu\u{i}sta, menya. Ya khot{p1} i printsessa, a ta zhe devushka!\\
(M{e1}r vskhlipyvaet.)\\
~~Printsessa. Esli ty menya predash{p1}, povezut menya nasil{p1}no
venchat{p1} s chuzhim starikom.\\
(M{e1}r vskhlipyvaet.)\\
~~Printsessa. Razve {e1}to khorosho? Korol{p1} u vas kaprizny\u{i}. A
ya slaben{p1}kaya.\\
(M{e1}r plachet.)\\
~~Printsessa. Razve ya vyzhivu v nevole? Ya tam srazu pomru!\\
~~M{e1}r (revet vo vse gorlo). O\u{i}, begite skore\u{i}! O\u{i},
a to vy pomrete! (Vopit.) Begite! O\u{i}!\\
(Vse, krome ministra, vskakivayut. Guvernantka khvataet
printsessu. Unosit naverkh. Kamerger svistit, ulyulyukaet.
Vbegaet strazha. Genrikh i Khristian probivayut
sebe dorogu k vykhodu. Vse begut za nimi. Slyshen topot
kone\u{i}. Penie:)\\
~~~~~~~~~~Shire stepi, vyshe lesa\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya tebya lyublyu.\\
~~~~~~~~~~Nikomu tebya, printsessa,\\
~~~~~~~~~~Ya ne ustuplyu.\\
~~Kamerger (vkhodit). Udrali. Legche sto olene\u{i} zatravit{p1}, chem
odnu korolevskuyu doch{p1} dovezti blagopoluchno
do ee zhenikha! (Smotrit na ministra.) A {e1}tot drykhnet:
spi-spi, nabira\u{i}sya sil. Naprygaesh{p1}sya eshche s nashe\u{i}
tikhe\u{i} baryshne\u{i}. U-lyu-lyu.\\
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Zanaves)\\
\\
\\
~~~~~~~~~~De\u{i}stvie Vtoroe\\
(Priemnaya komnata, otdelennaya ot opochival{p1}ni korolya
arko\u{i} s barkhatnym zanavesom. Priemnaya polna narodu.
Vozle samogo zanavesa stoit kamerdiner, dergayushchi\u{i} verevku
kolokola. Samy\u{i} kolokol visit v opochival{p1}ne.
Ryadom s kamerdinerom portnye speshno doshivayut naryad
korolya. Ryadom s portnymi -- glavny\u{i} povar, on sbivaet
slivki dlya shokolada korolya. Dalee stoyat chistil{p1}shchiki
sapog, oni chistyat korolevskuyu obuv{p1}. Kolokol zvonit.
Stuk v dver{p1}.)\\
~~Chistil{p1}shchik sapog. Stuchat v dver{p1} korolevsko\u{i}
priemno\u{i}, gospodin glavny\u{i} povar.\\
~~Povar. Stuchat v dver{p1} priemno\u{i}, gospoda portnye.\\
~~Portnye. Stuchat v dver{p1}, gospodin kamerdiner.\\
~~Kamerdiner. Stuchat? Skazhite, chtoby voshli.\\
(Stuk vse vremya usilivaet$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Portnye (povaru). Pust{p1} vo\u{i}dut.\\
~~Povar (chistil{p1}shchikam). Mozhno.\\
~~Chistil{p1}shchik. Vo\u{i}dite.\\
(Vkhodyat Genrikh i Khristian, pereodetye tkachami. U nikh
sedye pariki. Sedye borody. Genrikh i Khristian oglyadyvayut$\!\,$sya.
Zatem klanyayut$\!\,$sya kamerdineru.)\\
~~Khristian i Genrikh. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, gospodin zvonar{p1}.\\
(Molchanie. Genrikh i Khristian pereglyadyvayut$\!\,$sya.
Klanyayut$\!\,$sya portnym.)\\
~~Khristian i Genrikh. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, gospoda portnye.\\
(Molchanie.)\\
~~Khristian i Genrikh. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, gospodin povar.\\
(Molchanie.)\\
~~Khristian i Genrikh. Zdravstnu\u{i}te, gospoda chistil{p1}shchiki sapog.\\
~~Chistil{p1}shchik. Zdravstnu\u{i}te, tkachi.\\
~~Khristian. Otvetili. Vot chudesa! A skazhite, chto ostal{p1}nye
gospoda -- glukhie ili nemye?\\
~~Chistil{p1}shchik. Ni to i ni drugoe, tkachi. No soglasno
pridvornomu {e1}tiketu vy dolzhny byli obratit{p1}sya snachala
ko mne. Ya dolozhu o vas po voskhodyashche\u{i} linii, kogda
uznayu, chto vam ugodno. Nu-s? Chto vam ugodno?\\
~~Genrikh. My samye udivitel{p1}nye tkachi v mire. Vash
korol{p1} -- velicha\u{i}shi\u{i} v mire shchegol{p1} i frant. My khotim
usluzhit{p1} ego velichestvu.\\
~~Chistil{p1}shchik. Aga. Gospodin glavny\u{i} povar, udivitel{p1}nye
tkachi zhelayut sluzhit{p1} nashemu vsemilostive\u{i}shemu
gosudaryu.\\
~~Povar. Aga. Gospoda portnye, tam tkachi prishli.\\
~~Portnye. Aga. Gospodin kamerdiner, tkachi.\\
~~Kamerdiner. Aga. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, tkachi.\\
~~Genrikh i Khristian. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, gospodin kamerdiner.\\
~~Kamerdiner. Sluzhit{p1} khotite? Ladno! Ya dolozhu o
vas pryamo pervomu ministru, a on korolyu. Dlya tkache\u{i}
u nas sverkhuskorenny\u{i} priem. Ego velichestvo zhenit$\!\,$sya.
Tkachi emu ochen{p1} nuzhny. Po{e1}tomu on vas primet v vysshe\u{i}
stepeni skoro.\\
~~Genrikh. Skoro! My potratili dva chasa, prezhde chem
dobralis{p1} do vas. Nu i poryadochki!\\
(Kamerdiner i vse ostal{p1}nye vzdragivayut. Oglyadyvayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Kamerdine (tikho). Gospoda tkachi! Vy lyudi pochtennye
starye. Uvazhaya vashi sediny, preduprezhdayu vas: ni slova o
nashikh \\
natsional{p1}nykh, mnogovekovykh, osvyashchennykh samim
sozdatelem traditsiyakh. Nashe gosudarstvo -- vysshee v {e1}tom
mire! Esli vy budete somnevat{p1}sya v {e1}tom, vas, nevziraya na
vash vozrast ... (Shepchet chto-to Khristianu na ukho.)\\
~~Khristian. Ne mozhet byt{p1}.\\
~~Kamerdiner. Fakt. Chtoby ot vas ne rodilis{p1} deti
s naklonnostyami k kritike. Vy ari\u{i}tsy?\\
~~Genrikh. Davno.\\
~~Kamerdiner. {E1}to priyatno slyshat{p1}. Sadites{p1}. Odnako
ya uzhe chas zvonyu, a korol{p1} ne prosypaet$\!\,$sya.\\
~~Povar (drozhit). Se\u{i}chas ya poprobuyu v-v-vam
p-p-p-pomoch{p1}. (Ubegaet.)\\
~~Khristian. Skazhite, gospodin kamerdiner, pochemu,
nesmotrya na zharu, gospodin glavny\u{i} povar drozhit kak
v likhoradke?\\
~~Kamerdiner. Gospodin glavny\u{i} povar korolya pochti
nikogda ne otkhodit ot peche\u{i} i tak privykaet k zharu,
chto v proshlom godu, naprimer, on na solntse v iyule
otmorozil sebe nos.\\
(Slyshen strashny\u{i} rev.)\\
~~Kamerdiner. Chto {e1}to takoe?\\
(Vbegaet glavny\u{i} povar, za nim povaryata s korytom.
Iz koryta neset$\!\,$sya rev.)\\
~~Kamerdiner. Chto {e1}to?\\
~~Povar (drozha). {E1}to beluga, gospodin kamerdiner.
My postavim ee v-v op-p-pochival{p1}nyu korolya, beluga
b-b-b-udet r-r-e-vet{p1} b-b-b-elugo\u{i} i r-razbudit
g-g-gosudarya.\\
~~Kamerdiner. Nel{p1}zya.\\
~~Povar. No pochemu?\\
~~Kamerdiner. Nel{p1}zya. Beluga vse-taki, izvinite ... vrode ...
krasnaya ryba. A vy znaete, kak otnosit$\!\,$sya
korol{p1} k {e1}tomu ... Uberite ee!\\
(Povaryata s belugo\u{i} ubegayut.)\\
Tak-to luchshe, gospodin glavny\u{i} povar. {E1}\u{i}! Vyzvat{p1} vzvod
soldat, pust{p1} oni strelyayut pod oknami opochival{p1}ni
zalpami. Avos{p1} pomozhet.\\
~~Khristian. Neuzheli ego velichestvo vsegda tak krepko
spit?\\
~~Kamerdiner. Let pyat{p1} nazad on prosypalsya ochen{p1} skoro.
Ya kashlyanu -- i korol{p1} letit s krovati.\\
~~Genrikh. Nu!\\
~~Kamerdiner. Chestnoe slovo! Togda u nego bylo mnogo
zabot. On vse vremya napadal na sosede\u{i} i voeval.\\
~~Khristian. A teper{p1}?\\
~~Kamerdiner. A teper{p1} u nego nekakikh zabot net.
Sosedi u nego zabrali vse zemli, kororye mozhno zabrat{p1}.
I vot korol{p1} spit i vo sne vidit, kak by im otomstit{p1}.\\
(Slyshen grom barabanov. Vkhodit vzvod soldat. Ikh vedet
serzhant.)\\
~~Serzhant (komanduet). Smi-i-rno!\\
(Soldaty zamirayut.)\\
(Komanduet). Pri vkhode v priemnuyu korolya predanno
vzdo-o-okhni!\\
(Soldaty razom vzdykhayut so stonom.)\\
Predstaviv sebe ego mogushchestvo, ot blagogobeniya
trepe-e-shchi!\\
(Soldaty trepeshchut, shiroko rasstaviv ruki.)\\
{E1}\u{i} ty, shlyapa, kak trepeshchesh{p1}? Trepeshchi akkuratno, po
perednemu! Pal{p1}tsy! Pal{p1}tsy! Tak! Ne vizhu trepeta
v zhivote! Khorosho. Smi-irno! Slusha\u{i} moyu komandu!
Podumav o schast{p1}e byt{p1} korolevskim soldatom, ot
izbytka chuvstv plya-a-shi!\\
(Soldaty plyashut pod baraban vse, kak odin, ne vykhodya
iz stroya.)\\
Smirno! Vstat{p1} na tsypochki! Na tsypochkakh--arsh! Pr-a-ave\u{i}!
Eshche chut{p1} pra-a-a-ave\u{i}! Ravnenie na portret
dedushki ego velichestva. Na nos. Na nos dedushki.
Pryamo!\\
(Skryvayut$\!\,$sya.)\\
~~Khristian. Neuzheli s takimi vymushtrovannymi soldatami
korol{p1} terpel porazheniya?\\
~~Kamerdiner (razvodit rukami). Ved{p1} vot podi zh ty! \\
(Vkhodit pervy\u{i} ministr. Suetlivy\u{i} chelovek s bol{p1}sho\u{i}
sedo\u{i} borodo\u{i}.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, nizshie sluzhashchie.\\
~~Vse khorom. Zdravstvu\u{i}te, gospodin pervy\u{i} ministr.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Nu chto? Vse v poryadke, kamerdiner?
A? Govori pravdu. Pravdu rezh{p1}.\\
~~Kamerdiner. Vpolne, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo.\\
(Za stseno\u{i} zalp.)\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Aga! Govori pryamo: strelyayut. Znachit,
ego velichestvo skoro vstanut. Portnye! Kak u vas?
Pravdu valya\u{i}te! V lob!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} portno\u{i}. Kladem poslednie stezhki, gospodin
minstr.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Pokazhi. (Smotrit.) Rasschityva\u{i}te.
Znaete nashe trebovanie? Posledni\u{i} stezhok kladet$\!\,$sya
pered samym odevaniem ego velichestva. Korol{p1} kazhdy\u{i}
den{p1} nadevaet plat{p1}e novoe s igolochki. Pro\u{i}det minuta
posle poslednego stezhka---i on vashe plat{p1}e, grubo govorya,
ne nadenet. Izvestno vam {e1}to?\\
~~Pervy\u{i} portno\u{i}. Tak tochno, izvestno.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Igolochki zolotye?\\
~~Pervy\u{i} portno\u{i}. Tak tochno, zolotye.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Podat{p1} emu plat{p1}e pryamo s zoloto\u{i}
igolochki. Pryamo i otkrovenno! Povar! Slivki, grubo
govorya, sbil? A? Govori bez zate\u{i} i bez {e1}kivokov!
Zbil slivki dlya korolevskogo shokolada?\\
~~Povar. D-da, vashe prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Pokazhi. To-to. Odnako ... Kamerdiner!
Kto {e1}to? Smelo. Bez zate\u{i}. Govori.\\
~~Kamerdiner. {E1}to tkachi prishli nanimat{p1}sya, vashe
prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Tkachi? Pokazhi. Aga! Zdravstvu\u{i}te,
tkachi.\\
~~Genrikh i Khristian. Zdraviya zhelayu, vashe
prevoskhoditel{p1}stvo.\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Korolyu, govorya bez zadnikh mysle\u{i},
poprostu, nuzhny tkachi. Segodnya priezzhaet nevesta.
{E1}\u{i}! Povar! A zavtrak dlya ee vysochestva? Gotov? A?\\
~~Povar. T-t-tak tochno, gotov!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. A kako\u{i}? A? Pokazhi!\\
~~Povar. {E1}\u{i}! Prinesti pirozhki, prigotovlennye
dlya ee vysochestva!\\
~~Pervy\u{i} ministr. Nesut. A ya poka vzglyanu, ne otkryl
li korol{p1}, govorya bez vsyakikh tam gluposte\u{i},
glaza. (Ukhodit v opochival{p1}nyu.)\\
~~Povar. Printsessa Genrietta nichego ne ela tselye
tri nedeli.\\
~~Genrikh. Bednyazhka! (Bystro pishet chto-to na
klochke bumazhki.)\\
~~Povar. No zato teper{p1} ona est tselymi dnyami.\\
~~Genrikh. Na zdorov{p1}e.\\
(Povaryata vnosyat blyudo s pirozhkami.)\\
Akh, Kakie pirozhki! Ya byval pri mnogikh dvorakh, no ni
razu ne vidal nichego podobnogo! Kako\u{i} aromat. Kak
podrumyaneny. Kakaya myagkost{p1}!\\
~~Povar (pol{p1}shchenny\u{i}, ulybayas{p1}). D-da. Oni takie
myagkie, chto na nikh ostaet$\!\,$sya yamka dazhe ot pristal{p1}nogo
vzglyada.\\
~~Genrikh. Vy geni\u{i}.\\
~~Povar. V-voz{p1}mite odin.\\
$\!\,$}
\end{document}